


Clingiest Phantom

by alonleyanonymous



Series: "The Script" [1]
Category: clingy - Fandom, mcyt, sleepybois - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe - Dream Team SMP Setting (Video Blogging RPF), Angry TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), BadBoyHalo - Freeform, Clingytwt, Depressed TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Enderman-Ghast Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Friendship, Gen, Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF) - Freeform, Ghost Wilbur Soot, Hurt GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), L'Manberg War of Independence on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Male Friendship, Mentioned Floris | Fundy, Mentioned Karl Jacobs, Mentioned Niki | Nihachu, Minecraft, Niki | Nihachu Needs a Hug, Platonic Soulmates, Post-Manberg Festival on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Suicide Mission, Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Roleplay, Sad Alexis | Quackity, Suicide, Teleporter Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), The InBetween - Freeform, Time Travel, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs, Toby Smith | Tubbo and Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Tommy exile, Tubbo - Freeform, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, alternitive dream smp storyline, ghostinnit, karljacobs - Freeform, l'manberg, l'manburg, skeppy - Freeform, sleepybois
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:00:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alonleyanonymous/pseuds/alonleyanonymous
Summary: Based on the dream smp story line. tommy becomes deeply depressed and full of grief after being exiled causing him to wonder how get back and know who his true friends are. he could always just take the easy road. the discs, his tubbo, his world, his choice. how much is he willing to risk for the people he loves? how much is everyone willing to do to discover the truths painful or blissful? things are never quite as they truly seem...
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit, Tommyinnit & Tubbo
Series: "The Script" [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114829
Comments: 18
Kudos: 183





	1. Blue

CH.1  
Tommys POV  
The sun beamed into my eyes as I squinted, prying them open. I looked around in confusion, my head pounded. What happened?... Suddenly I was reminded and that same rush of sadness consumed me like every morning for the past month. I sat up tattered clothing wishing I had something to be happy and grateful for but still, nothing. I looked over at the photo of lmanburg on the wall. Was that the same place wilbur began so long ago, was that the same place we fought war after war for. Was it the same place I gave up everything for just so it could exist and be an independent nation. Just so I could be exiled. I lost my whole life and yet here I sit in logchire alive.

I might as well be dead. 

I skirmiged through the barrels in search of any food. Every barrel only contained a thick coat of dust and one of them but a single book by my only friend ghostbur. I had become so lonely, sad and exasperated I was ok with dream, the man who is responsible for my exile, coming to visit. Today for once I prayed dream wouldn't come and mock me, making me lose yet another iron block till I had no more. I was scared to put armor on every morning for fear of being forced to watch it be destroyed in front of my eyes. The trauma and heartache I've gone through could not pester in my body any longer. I needed comfort, the blue was no longer enough to ease my pain.

A stack of blue went off by 8am providing me just enough comfort to make it to my bed at night but it wasn't working anymore to ease the pain. The longer I stayed here the more clinically depressed and grief was introduced and piled into my senses. The days of days of being alone and mocked. Who was I kidding, nobody wanted to visit me. Nobody cared.I guess when you're exiled you realize who your true friends are. Mine, I've learned, is no one. But that's why it hurts because i could make new friends but i loved tubbo with every fiber of being and bone in my body. He was MY tubbo. And I thought he cared and loved me too. 

I couldn't think about that anymore though it was time to start my day. I exited the trailer breathing in the fresh morning air. I checked some of the outside barrels for food. Blue. no. logs. No. 3 pieces of bread. It was good enough i broke it off and ate a piece leaving me hungry but i knew i needed to ration this out. I checked the mail box for the stream schedule.

Dream-none  
Tubbo-2pm bst  
George-none  
Sapnap-none  
BBH- 11pm est  
Skeppy-none  
Ghostbur-none  
Fundy- 7pm est  
Captainpuffy- none  
Ranboo- 4:45pm est  
Tommyinnit- 8pm bst 

My usual 8pm, why am i not surprised. I say sighing. Subs and follows are slower. My viewers are sad. part of me doesn't want to broadcast this to the world but I couldn't do that to the fans. I roll up the schedule and shove it in the schedule barrel angrily to take my sadness out on thr stupid paper.

I headed towards the tnret to make sure my echest was still there. The tattered cover of the tent was battered from the weather, the floor and chest dewy and wet. I opened the retinal scan on the echest and let it scan. I slowly rummaged through the chest in search of something. Where was it... I felt the metal engraving beneath my fingers and the smooth glass on my thumb and pulled the object knowing I found what i seeked. I layed i dry towel down and sat staring at the compass. Wilburs etched engraving of your tubbo on the metal. I pulled it out just to make sure it was there everyday and to use it to see my reflection. The bags under my eyes were large. I was sunburnt with heat blisters, dirty and greasy strings of hair. There was a small cut on my lower lip and a new rip in my shirt. I could smell the odor emanating from my body a mix of lake and body water. I sighed staring at the direction of the compass I watched as it moved ever so slightly with his movements. The sadness started to become overbearing as I put it away before leaving the tent.

I made my way to the forest beyond in search of food. I found a small bush with berries after reaching the spruce forest on my long journey to stock up on food. I threw the berries in my heavy bag now filled with meat and berries galore. My feet were getting tired and the sun was falling over the horizon giving me the indication it was time to head home. I ran as far as I could muscles weak and in pain as I neared logchire, the glow of the sunset against the bay in the distance.

*snap* I jumped and started at the sound of a twig breaking in the distance. I sighed in relief as a chicken walked around the bush. My bag was too full to stuff another ounce of meat in so I let it be. I was too weak to sprint which forced me to continue walking. Out in the distance a faint buzz almost humming like caught my ear. I scavenged around wondering if it's what I thought it was. Just then I spotted it hovering over a flower. It was black and yellow and looked so happy. I gently filled a few bottles of honey and coddled the bee bringing it back to camp content and hungry. I set up an enclosure for the bee hoping someone had a nametag so i could name it soon.

There were a lot of things I needed to do but my late night meal was cut off short as the nether portal sound radiated through my head. Was it a friend! Was it someone who visited me who I hadn't seen? I closed my eyes praying it was tubbo as I chewed on a few more pieces of steak. I opened my eyes to look to see who it was.  
“Tommy?” i heard him say  
I moaned in disarray, that dumbass green bastard  
“Hey why so gloomy” he asks mockingly  
“ can you let me eat my goddamn meal and frick off please.”  
“ come on i'm better than nobody”  
“ who cares i'll be gone soon anyways” realizing i'm truly alone and done  
“ t tommy whats thats supposed to mean i need you alive”  
“ your the only one and i dont give a fuck about what you think green boy”  
he looks down at the plated freshly made armour  
“ no dream”  
“ tommy put your armour in the goddamn hole” he says menacingly leading by the tent and digging a hole  
I run to my echest opening the scan but he grabs my arms and pulls back. I wince in pain and agony trying not to break down as I hold him back from breaking the chest. His netherite armour pressing against my back muscles.  
“Put it in the hole” he says before I feel a blade to the back of my neck.  
I knew he wouldn't do it but there was no getting out of this. He won again like always. He wins at l’manburgs wars, he wins at making everything under his control, he wins at tearing apart friendships. He keeps saying he wants me alive but if he truly wanted me he wouldn't have forced me to ever even consider taking my own life. He doesn't want me and he took me from the people who do. I snap back in reality breathing unnaturally slowly as I fall to my side malnourished and weak. I feel as dream removes my helmet and throws it in the hole. I crawl wearily towards the water.  
“ dream wa water” i say rasply  
“ jesus tommy!” he says  
he runs and fills a bottle with water and runs back and and feeds the stream into my mouth”  
i sit up  
“ tommy you need to take better care of yourself your malnourished” he says  
“ there's barely any food left in the area and I'm out of fresh water. I'll probably be lucky if i dont get sick from drinking that lake water.”  
“ then tell me”  
“ like you’d do anything” i say snarky pulling the chestplate over my head and throwing it in the hole  
“ Tommy, I'm just trying to make sure you can't make it to l’manburg not kill you!” he says  
I let out a laugh considering the reason I'm dying is because I won't let me back and I have nothing to live for. There are so many things I want to yell at him to his face but it won't matter because he’ll win. I've learned there's no point in trying. I pull off my boots and pants and throw them in the hole. Its silent nothing but the night breeze as dream walks towards the hole putting down the tnt. I close my eyes as I hear its ignition falling into the deep sorrowful hole with a loud boom. A tear streaks down my face.  
“ ok ill be on with my day now i'll fill a barrel with fresh water and a stack of steak”  
I nod eyes glued shut suddenly remembering something I wanted to ask for  
“ oh wait,” I say opening my eyes “ would you be willing to give me a name tag?”  
“ maybe depends on what its for”  
“ for a pet to keep me company”  
“ but you have mushroom henry”  
“ please” i beg sadly  
“So i can remember him” I thought to myself  
“ ok fine” he says reaching into the side pocket of his backpack and tossing one down  
“ thanks” i say plain trying to show gratitude through my sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :)


	2. The Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> should it be the end?

I went back into logstedshire thinking about what to name the bee. Tubbo is just too pitiful and lonely. Maybe tubboat… that would have to do. I crafted an anvil leaving me with 4 iron total. I named the name tag tubboat and tied around its neck seeing the name pop up above his head in satisfaction. I take a look through the barrels finding one that had 22 water bottles, a stack of steak and a… book?. I pull it out to read later 

I made my way into the van body chilled to the bone as I wrapped a blanket around me and sat in the bed opening the book.

Dear Tommy,

You're so heartbroken I couldn’t tell you this in person but my obsidian prison is scheduled to be done by 6pm est irl time in 2 days and you're set to be it’s first inmate. The prison shuttle will pick you up at 5:30 and have your things ready. You’ll get a meal and water enough to keep you alive for the day. No echest or picaxe. And you know what happens to armour :). I’m leaving you alone after livestream tomorrow until 5:30 the following day so do anything you need. 

Sincerely,

Dream (or should I say your nightmare)

Ps. Don’t worry your friends will join you soon 

I sighed not even caring I’d be dead before he even got the chance. I opened the barrel to grab a journal and start writing a note for tubbo 

_ Dear my tubbo, _

_ You have made the world a beacon of light in your time of presidency I see no doubt of that. For the country you did what’s right. To appease dream you did what’s right. In my time here I’ve learned dream will always win so there's no use in even trying. He watches over me like a hawk 24/7 making me watch as he destroys my armour everyday and threatens to take my echest. I almost died in front of my dream eyes today and he gave me food and water only to find a letter saying he was taking me to his luxury obsidian prison for the rest of my days. I have every disc but cat and melohi and I wanted you to have this. I know it’s your favorite so please store it with care. And don’t worry I’ll have my compass so you know where to find me ;). I delivered this letter in person just so I could see l’manburg the nation I gave independence to one last time. Just please know I know you don’t love me the same way I love you. I don’t even know if you love me or even like me. If I knew making l’manburg an independent nation would mean losing you I would’ve let them win just to stay by your side. But I love you more than everything in the universe combined. It wasn’t your fault  _

_ Love,  _

_ Yours truly tommy/ big t  _

_ Ps.enjoy this book _

I role it up and tie a string around it slipping it under the bed I grabbed a book and began writing. I knew from previous experience with ghostbur I needed to write down key events of dream smp to help me remember.

_ Dear diary,  _

_ Use this to spark your memory ghost tommy  _

  * _Dream runs the smp he’s building a prison confront him when he finds your dead body_


  * Wilbur now ghostbur started lmanburg with your friends tubbo, fundy, quackity, and eret. Eret betrayed you and is now king of dream smp. You fought for freedom of lmanburg and gave up two discs cat and melohi to gain independence 


  * Jschlatt won the election to be president of lmanburg and exiled me and Wilbur and we started the nation pogtopia one by one we gained in numbers and started a war in which we were informed there was a traitor and dream had joined jshlatts side. Wilbur created a way to blow up lmanburg and did so during the war after techno revealed he was the traitor he spawned withers and Phil joined the server and took Wilburs last canon life (everyone has three) and techno disappeared after the war 


  * You were made president but turned it down to fight for your discs so Wilbur gave it to tubbo 


  * You had a cow named henry his grave is by your old house


  * Georgenotfound is dreams best friend maybe lover and everyone made fun of him for building a house during the war I decided to pull a prank on him and rob him with ranboo (who is a friend) and George’s house got griefed. dream found out and was pissed and built walls around lmanburg


  * Tubbo who you love with your life exiled you because he wanted to keep peace with dream for the sake of the nation and is a wonderful man 


  * You started logstedshire which is where you stand and took your own last canon life out of depression and sadness so you could get back to tubbo as fast as possible 


  * Dream is an asshole try to make his life a living hell get melohi from skeppy and put the discs in the echest 


  * Dream threatened to put you in an obsidian prison and would come and mock you 24/7 he also threatened to build the wall to sky level if tubbo didn’t exile you 


  * Try to find tubbo asap


  * Also your a simp for vikkstar 


  * Stream schedule comes in the mail each day but you can stream whenever just change it in the journal and it changes for everyone 


  * Don’t let the green boy win and just do me a favor if you do get both discs can you shout over lmanburg this simple phrase? “SUCK IT GREEN BOY”


  * Ask tubbo or quackity to fill you in on anything else you have questions on :) best of luck



I sighed closing the journal. I only wrote down the stuff I wanted to remember, I figured that’d be best. I slid it under the bed with the letter and layer down pondering in my thoughts. I don’t know what was right or sane anymore I was lost physically mentally and emotionally and in that moment I just wanted to forget forever. I disconnected from the server. 


	3. Beach Party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N : I was unaware when i firt wrote this that having tommys charectar commit suicide was actually something they were considering for the story line but i looks like there really pushing in this direction which is kind of throwing my story off course but im gonna keep writing and it will be diffrent from the actual storyline still but probably closer than i thought. also this is a VERY long chapter.

_ Tommyinnit has joined the server  _

I stretched my fingers which were stiff, the sun blaring in my eyes. What time was it? Were we.. oh we’re live! I realized quickly and checked the stream title “alone”. “Alone” , that was the stream title jesus. Was I really that depressed? I thought back on everything. Yeah yeah fair point… I guess I was just in a good mood. I mean it's always a good thing to be in a good mood during streams. Still sadness but not immeasurable, maybe a half a stack to a stack worth of blue. I talked to stream about advancements such as the easy path to logstedshire and missing everyone.

Suddenly I was reminded of something dream had told me last stream yesterday.

“ _ i think technos house is right over here somewhere” _

Just like that I knew what I wanted to do to start the stream. I trekked into the depths of the snow. The frigid air blew snow off the mountain tops. I sprinted trying to remain warm. It might have been the frigid air or the lack of life besides rabbits but sadness started to overwhelm me again. I had been traveling for far too long to the point where I figured dream had just been lying.I turned around cold and lonely. My two least favorite things. I stared at the chat spamming village and saw the smoke stack it the distance, not thinking much of it. I was thankful I was approaching some sort of establishment or I was bound to freeze to death. I took the lengthy hike up the hill and stood there the wind blowing in my face as I saw a single house smoke stack billowing. A horse was off to the side wearing diamond armour. My eyes went wide realizing I had stumbled upon technos house. 

I slowly walked up the house running my hand along the siding. It was smaller than I would've imagined for technos house. He probably had another secret base around here somewhere but i wasn't about to go looking since i was already anxiety ridden enough that techno or dream could log on at any moment. I approached the door and sat silently pondering in my thoughts whether to go in. slowly and cautiously i turned the nob and walked inside. The warmth hits by frozen body like a ton of bricks causing me to shudder. Rows of double chests laid to my left and the basic necessities. I large painting of techno on the wall in front. 

_ Philza joined the server  _

_ Philza private msg: tommy no  _

I'm running out of time I soon realized as I climbed up the ladder to the second floor where there's more chests and pictures. I respond to phil 

_ Private msg: philza? _

_ Philza: yes? _

I made it to the third floor and realized the enchantment room. I was a mixture of excitement, anxiety, and sadness. I headed back down and checked a chest on the second floor. My eyes went big as I saw a set of enchanted diamond armour, gold, and stacks of emerald blocks. I wanted to take the stuff but i knew i'd be in deep shit if i did. I hurried out of the building and shut the door behind as the wave of cold rushed over me. I couldn't steal as much as I wanted to dream would kill me. 

_ Dream joined the game _

Shit. SHIT

I ran faster than I have in my whole life. I was dead. I was so dead. I passed the village running through feets of snow feeding the cold on my bare skin with no protection from the cold. I finally make it back to the biome of logstedshire and sigh in relief. I begin to warm up as I make my way towards the caravan. Suddenly I stop short as I hear the sound of the nether portal echo through my ears. I stare at it ready to see dream come though. I freeze… his dapper suit, his blonde hair, his eyes boring into mine. T Tubbo??. I think shakily. Was this real? Was I seeing things? did my best friend finally come. 

“ hey tommy” says dream from discord

I turned to hear something from the tent. The first movement of any kind I've made since I saw tubbo. My mind races wondering if it was the weather changes or if i was going insane. I wanted to believe it was tubbo but we both stood there frozen. I saw dream by the Christmas tree running my way. I turned around. Tubbo was gone.

I must've really lost it. I needed friends. Not dream. 

“ hey dream” i respond

“ hey tommy how are you?” said ghostbur

“ hi!” said phil 

I stood there shaking. Suddenly I thought I saw tubbo under the tree.

“ i think i'm losing my mind” i say

“ Why what's going on?” asks ghostbur

“ i keep seeing tubbo i feel like im seeing things”

“ no your not he's right there” he says 

“ where?” i say 

“ right there in that tree” he says 

Suddenly i see him hiding behind leaves

“ well i don't see him” says dream

“ me neither” says phil”

“ So what do you want to do today?” asks dream

I think about things I could do to get my friends over here for a good reason. Ideas flowed through my mind till one stuck. A beach party would be fun. There werent many beaches back home especially since it was now a full blown city and community. It might be fun for them to come here. I could see big q and maybe even tubbo. 

“I was thinking,” i say as we walk to the beach “ what if we held a beach party there aren't many beaches in l’manburg and i miss everyone”

“ ok” says dream 

We get to work expanding the beach and building the ultimate beach party. I start to get excited thinking that maybe I got a chance to reconnect with everyone that they'd remember and love me again and I'd have a reason to live. They'd visit me more. As I worked diligently to prepare I kept seeing tubbo around. Sometimes in my peripherals sometimes right in front of my eyes. When gostbur shot a glowing arrow and a soft glow surrounded him creating his soft aura. I knew I was going insane. Get him out of your mind please just stop reminding me. If he was really here he'd say more than hello. Dream and Phil would have seen him. I would have hugged him. This, this was torture.

Tubbos pov

My nightmare began with watching that damn compass  _ your tommy _ . I'd watch his small movements with the gentle needle trying to muster up the courage to go there and say I'm sorry.i screwed up more than i ever have and im worried im sorry won't be enough. That he doesn't want me there. That he doesn't wasnt me at all. I stood in front of the portal pacing. Just go, just go. I stepped through taking a deep breath. My hair collected pieces of falling ash as my body heated up significantly. I didn't think twice as I ran and ran and ran down the path to the portal and stepped through. I froze as we locked eyes. Dark bags lay under his sad eyes. Strings of greasy hair with melting snow and large rips throughout his clothing. 

I did this to him 

It was too much to bear i wanted to leave but i couldn't as i stood there my eyes bore into his. He looked shocked, trembling. Part of me wanted to hug him but the other part was worried how much hurt he'd take out on me for what i had done. Suddenly I heard dream barreling in from the Christmas tree. Tommy turned to look and decided I needed to hide. I couldn't be seen here. I wanted to talk to him alone. I ran behind a tree remaining still and quiet. Dream led him towards the tent and I sat and tried to listen. I watched as he threw some stuff out of his inventory. I couldn't make it out but it looked like armour and tools. Suddenly I heard an explosion. Did dream just blow up tommys stuff? Has dream ben torturing my tommy, what the fuck was going on?! How did I let it get this bad!

I heard ghostbur and phil soon after. Tommy looked over at me for a second. I climbed a slightly further tree.and hid towards the top. 

I was trying my hardest to overhear but I couldn’t really. Suddenly Wilbur pointed at me.they all looked my way. I knew Tommy saw me. 

“ I'M SEEING SHIT” i hear him say faintly

Does he think I'm not here or real?

I slowly climbed down from the tree as they headed towards the beach. I entered logstedshire taking a look around. Mushroom henry's leathery skin beneath my hand as I pet it nearly in tear. I spent some time looking at the prime log. That dumb stupid log he shouldve been on the prime path with me! I break out in tears before kicking the log. I tried to collect myself tired and broken. I needed to leave and Tommy couldn't see me like this. The faint humming of a bee caught my ear. I couldn't resist as I followed the noise. I squeezed through an opening into the hollow inside of a hill and gasped. Inside was a bee called tubboat in a enclosure with flowers the hive and some honey and tons of pictures of me on the walls. I collapsed onto my knees as my vision went blurry and I cried, and cried, and cried. I knew I needed to leave soon. This was far too painful. I picked a blue orchid leaving my green tear stricken sweater on the ground as I left in a hurry. I left the musty air of this hill hole and ran to the nether portal. 

Tommys pov:

I watched as the live turned grey in my vision. I missed tubbo. Did he really try to talk to me or was I seeing things? I sighed and made my way back from the beach. Wilbur said he'd take care of the invites. I slid towards the hill hole wanting to visit tubboat and have moment in the hill. I noticed a thick must as I began to enter. The interior was especially warm and moist. An all too familiar scent wafted through the air but I couldn't quite place it. For some reason the bee was going crazy. I looked at the ground as I saw the blue orchid had been picked and a green sweater layed on the ground. I kneeled picking it up. I held it close smelling it and then nostalgia hit me and everything made sense. It smelled like tubbo more specifically tubbo when he was crying. Had tubbo really been here and discovered his area that he used to remember him. 

“ _ It was probably the goddamn bee”  _ I thought smiling.

I layed on the couch in the hill just laying with the sweater. It was painful but the most comfortable I've felt in days. 

Tommyinnit left the game. 

… the smell of the salty sea, the cake, the umbrellas and chairs. I woke up on the beach nearly forgetting the party was today. We were live which suprised me because normally there’s be some time between streams where I’d be on offline but I guess not this time. 

Tommyinnit joined the game 

I walked up to the waters edge noticing my reflection. I was getting worse my shirt was thin the red on it faded to a nice cream color. It was unrecognizable as even a shirt of any kind. Rips were down the length of my pants and by eyes were bloodshot with bags under them. I trudged my broken and battered body to the nether to see if anyone was on there way since the party was about to start.

I was excited to see all my friends and have a party. I checked the tab list. My expression dropped.

4 people?

4people?! 

Where was everyone? I jumped into the nether, the heat blasting my chilled skin as I entered. I stood watching the path 

Time passed by slowly. I wanted to fall to my knees but I kept telling myself I couldn’t loose hope. As more and more people logged off the server however. It seemed inevitable. Broken and discouraged I headed back to the beach 

Dream joins the game 

I trudged slowly looking at my feet I sat looking at the water feet dig deep into the sand 

“ Tommy? Sorry I’m late” he says “ where is everyone” 

I look at him sadly as he stands by the Christmas tree 

“ I don’t know what time was the invitations set for”

“4est” 

“ are you sure the invitations got out”

“ yeah Wilbur told me he sent them”

“ what about tubbo did he get one”

“ yeah his is the one I saw get delivered in person it’s the only one I know he gave out for sure”

“ really? You saw tubbo get the invitation. You're not lying to me are you?”

“ what do you mean I saw him get the invite”

I walk over to dream 

“ why did no one come?”

“ I don’t know”

“ no one wants me do they no one cares about me anymore”

“ that’s not true I’m here”

“ yeah but your the only one”

“Oh wait sorry” I say throwing down my armour

“ no keep it this is your beach party day” 

“ really?”

“ yeah your gonna need something to cover those raggedy clothes”

I glare at him

We sit on the beach as the time goes by seemingly slower and slower till I can’t wait any longer. Tears leak out of my eyes but I don’t say a word for I don’t want him to know I’m crying.

I wipe my tears with my shirt 

“ hey watch this tommy” he says getting in the water 

He shows me a cool trident trick

“ woh that’s sick can I try?” 

“ yeah” he says tossing me the trident 

Hours pass by just messing with the tridents he even agreed to let me keep one. Even with all the fun I’d had I knew I wouldn’t be alive much longer. The pain was too much for any trident to fix 


	4. Last Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy gets visitors but will it be enough. 
> 
> i had to break this chapter in two because it got to lengthy. two more sad chapters than some action coming! thankfully tommy went with techno which gives me more leeway to do what i wanted originally with this story because after this chapter were going off script :) i hope yall are ready

Ranboo, quackity, lazar, and drista. Will they be the last face I see before I die? Probably. After yesterday's stream I stayed on the server for 4 minecraft days worth of time. 

Ranboo was the first to come and visit me after the stream. He greeted me and told me he missed me. It was relieving and uplifted my mood. Although I had just used about 4 stacks of blue so that might have been why. I gave him the tour and we trekked into the depths of the forest on an adventure. I wanted to gear up and try to fight back. I was just in that kind of mood. My normal mood as some would say

We approached the village I found barely 30 minutes ago. There were naturally spawned villagers and everything. It had been so long since I had seen a villager but it gave me the sliver of hope I needed for possibly getting an ender pearl trade. That was until I realized although I had the ender pearl trade it didn’t matter I could get stacked with pearls to help me escape but dream had just as many if not more.

“ I wish I could go back to lmanburg just one more time” I say sitting in the beach after a long day

“ I know Tommy just hang in there and be strong for us”

“ for who ranboo everyone hates me. People think I’m oblivious to the fact that dream’s manipulating me. I’m not, I know ranboo but knowing doesn’t make it any easier because it’s just one more person on this blasted planet who hates me”

“ well I don’t hate you, ghostbur doesn’t hate you” 

“ I don’t even know who hates me or likes me anymore what if you’ve all been manipulating me like dream”

“ awe tommy” he says giving me a hug “ none of us will ever be like dream ok think of all the fun times we had robbing George, you built lmanburg, made friends, made a life with everyone”

“ what was that all for if dream can all take that away in seconds”

It’s silent as we look along the foggy waters at the star filled sky 

A tear rolls down my cheek

“ you should go I need rest” 

“ ok let me know if you need anything write to me ok”

I nod silently as he sits up and the nether portal sounds rings through my ears 

Alone again 

I went to the trailer to bed 

A knock at the door startled me awake 

I groan having been woken up

“ come in?” I say sitting up rubbing my eyes 

The latch clicks as the door opens 

“ hey thought I’d come and visit” I heard his stupid Australian accent 

“ UGGHHH why the fuck are you here Australian”

“ figured you could use some company, I brought you something” he says handing me a disc 

I get excited for a second till I realize what disc it is 

“ ew what the hell, this is the worst disc what the fuck is wrong with you”

“ oh come in it’s not that bad I mean it’s a disc”

“ I don’t want this stupid disc or your Australian ass in my house lazar I mean come on you couldn’t have brought vikkstar or something he’s far better than any disc like are you litterally brain dead”

“ I was trying to be nice I’m better than no one being here”

“ not by much if at all” 

“ well I thought you’d enjoy the disc and know I’m here if you need anything”

“ just get out of my trailer please” I say laying back down 

I hear the door open as he leaves and the faint nether portal sounds. I get up and eat some bread with some chicken and berries. I put the stupid disc in my echest and take care of my morning buisness when I hear somone come through the portal 

“ good morning last stream before I leave you alone” I here him say bellowing my way 

I slam my head on the tent pole 

“ hello dream are you excited about your stupid inescapable prison?”

“ very” he says “ armour?”

“ come on you making me give up armour for the rest of my life so maybe have some compassion in your heart to let me keep it for my last day” i say snotty and annoyed

“ Fine whatever” he says 

The nether portal sounds are back which means someone else is here. But who I didn’t know of anyone else coming. But then I saw who it was and I genuinely smiled.

“ me gusta mmmmm Mexican dream”

“ ay man where am I dude I think I got lost in the nether” he says 

“ your in logstedchire my home” I say 

“ home?? What’s a home man I haven’t had one since I lived with my familia back in Mexico”

“ you don’t have a home” I question 

“ ah who is this copy cat dream I am Mexican dream man who the fuck are you”

“ I’m dream speedrunning god”

“ oh please don’t flatter yourself idiot” I say 

“ I’d watch your mouth if I were you-“

“ do you have a home” I question again cutting off dream 

“ no no man”

“ do you want to live here with me?” I ask excitedly 

“ sure man whatever you want man”

“ he could live in the guest tent” I say

“ your going to put him in that thing”says dream disgusted 

“ yeah what the hell man”

“ ok then we’ll build you a house” 

And that’s precisely what we did. We made a house with piss floor and he put up pictures of his family and Mexican food and bickered with dream until dream left the server. I haven’t laughed so hard in a while, especially when girl dream or mamacita should I say joined the server and things went crazy with crafting table jokes and just most likely breaking TOS left and right. 

It was all fun and games till he logged back on as dream and started shooting down the pictures of Mexican dreams family provoking them to fight with netherite armour and all. I watched dream kill him in front of my eyes. just poof, silence his stuff on the ground and dream with a smug face. I kneeled at his stuff In shock.

“ WHAT THE HELL” 

He just smiled like a psychopath and left 

I put his stuff in a chest and sat there crying myself to sleep as darkness fell over the horizon.

“ Tommy? Tommy?” 

My eyes opened and closed I sat up slowly

“ wha what?” 

I feel a hand to my forehead 

“ your burning up” I hear a voice say 

I lay there calm and quiet. Next thing I know I feel a freezing towel placed on my head. 

I grab onto something next to me, perhaps a chest. Then I remember I fell asleep in the blazing sun. I feel water being fed into my mouth. I swallow harshly the water coating my overly parched throat. I start to feel better

“ what happened” i say sitting up holding the towel to my head which already felt lukewarm

“You fell asleep out here it's 11am” says dream

“ shit dristas coming soon”

“Yeah you still up for it?”

“Yeah I guess” I say solemnly 

“ ok I’ll give you a bit to collect yourself before I grab her drink up k your super dehydrated”

I nod as he leaves

I smile grabbing some food holding the re-dampened cold towel to my head. I go to give more flowers tubboat.

“ your the only one who really cares about me the only one I don’t want to leave” 

“ Tommy!! Tommy where are you???”

He ran passed the room before backtracking and looking in 

“ nah nope don’t you dare come in here or look” I say 

“ oh my god Tommy is that what you needed the name tag for?! Tubboat oh my god Tommy” he says walking in appalled 

“ you weren’t supposed to see this” 

“ I know awe tommy you really miss tubbo that much Jesus”

“ yep even though he’ll never feel the same”

there’s silence

“ maybe he’d change his mind if he saw this”

“ it wouldn’t” I say quickly 

“ how can you be so quick to say such a thing”

“ because he did and I’m still alone” I say standing there in near tears 

“ how can you be sure he came-“

“ just leave dream” I say collapsing on the couch tears streaming down my face 

“I’ll give you a minute but my sister is waiting and the time is approaching if you want to be true to schedule”

he leaves as I reach into a barrel pullin out what I was looking for. I held the sweater close. It felt for a moment like I was with my best friend again. I didn’t care anymore about dream or drista. I needed my friends. I couldn’t take it anymore. Imagine a best friend you called clingy for the sole fact you were inseparable and would never be seen apart and then suddenly fate rips you apart and you're left with nothing and he had everything but that doesn’t matter because you're both still equals. Scared and lost teens in a cruel world with tyrants and monsters. The only thing that makes it easier is being with eachother and having that sense of family. But that’s all gone. Gone but not forgotten. I would always find a way back if I could. And if I knew how I would’ve left ages ago. 

I wiped my eyes and left the cave looking at my reflection in the water and I looked terrible. I took a swig of my water and took some deep breaths. I have to get in the right mindset at least for a little bit. Dream deserved to feel my pain for what he did but drista didn't. She deserved a fun time with me. 

We made jokes and had fun forgetting about our worries for a while. I even asked her to stab dream with a fork which was fun. We ran around the nether like a couple of school kids happy. Then suddenly a wave of reality hit me as we found ourselves in front of the nether portal. 

“ I I can’t we should go” I say shaking turning my back to it trying to hide my emotions

“ what’s wrong can’t we go back I want to see everyone”

I hear dreams shrilling whisper of a no in the background 

“ please just for today for a small amount of time”

“ fine you have 45 minutes” he says 

I look up in drista in shock 

“ r really” 

“ we’ll come on then let’s go” she says grabbing my hand and pulling me in the portal.

I here the portal around me, the hazy vision of purple. You would’ve thought I would’ve been excited to be back and of course part me was but I was also terrified. I didn’t feel right going back. I needed to make my way back on my own not get back with a special hour long pardon. 

The sun shone upon the community house. It was even more beautiful than I recalled with the Christmas decor. 

*whoosh* 

An arrow nearly missed my head as I looked up to see punz, arrow drawn, aimed at me.

“ DRISTA!!” I yell dodging “ don’t just sit there help me please”

I ran circles round the nether portal as I got chased. I knew dream could message him in discord but wasn’t. 

“ cant you tell him to leave me alone please”

She starts trying to kill him but in the process breaking the nether portal. After a good 5 minute chase he leaves us alone and we go about our day ( a/n: and charge they phone [sorry]). God to step foot on the prime path and to know that it’s real it’s not a dream. I wanted to cry. I guess I wanted to see everything go everywhere. Starting with my old house I missed so dearly. Me and Drista played with dogs and made it to my house. I inhaled a sharp breath as I ran to the bench, shoving the overgrowth out of the way.

“ play pig step please” I beg

“ no”

“ pleeeaaaseee” I beg

She didn’t play it. We sat around messing around with punz over our shoulder like a watchdog. Suddenly I froze. A wave of heat overcame me. I stumbled back. I leave it up to imagination but I think we all knew who it was I saw across from me. The question remains was it really him or my imagination. The probability it was really him made sense but I couldn’t utter a word. The pain I felt from losing him I didn’t want to feel that pain again when I left. I ran up to him as he ran to me. I stopped realizing how close we were. Our faces were but an inch apart. I felt myself breathing the air he exhaled. He was real, this was real. My eyes watered . He grabbed my hand and held it tight. 

“ is it really you” he says in a near whisper

I nod 

He handed me a price of melon which I gladly took proud he knew one of my favorite foods that I haven’t had in ages. Sam also ended up there. Somehow I came up with an ingenious plan. I ran to my room and rummaged through the chest and found what I searched for a book and quill drista, sam, and punz were concerned with each other so i decided to search for something else. I dug beneath my base knowing I was near until I found it a single chest with one invis potion, one prop IV fire aspect netherite axe, and one strength potion. I stuffed the things in my bag and ripped a piece of paper out scribbling something.

Tubbos POV

He came out of his house and ran over to me as we pretended to take a screenie. He made it seem like he wasn't sure I was real but I knew he knew. He slid a note into my pocket. I said bye and ran behind the tunnel pulling the slip of paper out.

_ This still doesn't feel real today. You don't know what they've been doing to me but you saw my appearance. I don't want you to worry but just know I miss you and love you like a brother and I don't care if you arent my friend anymore but at least read the note I leave for you tonight. please  _

_ -Tommy _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ch. 5 out soon story also on wattpadd


	5. The Final Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> even he couldn't save him. TW/ suicide
> 
> i fixed the tags btw platonic frienship only!! if it ever seems like more than friend im going through a break up right now so some of my expression goes into writing but i swear theyre just friends

The sun began to lower on the horizon. I had to hurry if I wanted to get this done the way it needed to be. I prayed my efforts would be worth it. I grabbed my backpack and took the food, invis potion, the axe, and a single gapple. Under the bed I pulled out what I had been looking for. The letter. 

A harsh knocking at my door made me jump. 

“ who is it?” I say hiding the bag behind me

“ just let me in Tommy” he says 

I’d know that voice anywhere. But why in the world was he here of all places? How did he even know where I was. 

“ T- techno?”

“ well jeez I wonder who else it could be! Let me in in it’s freezing out here”

“ w what? Why are you here” I say opening the door 

“ Tommy Jesus you look like you got run over by a truck” he says with a chuckle

I roll my eyes 

“ anyways I know you found my house you left this” he says handing me a couple ender pearls

“ oh I uh I rushed out I got scared Phil was telling me no and dream joined”

“ it’s fine thank you for not stealing anything but I don’t want you to step foot in my house if I’m offline  _ ever  _ again tommy” he says coldly sitting on the bed pouring himself a chalice of wine made from the berries.

“ I’m sorry”

“ so what are you doing way out here in the boonies” he says now taken over my whole bed 

“ oh I don’t know I was sent to exile brother, what do you think!”

“ eh well when you live this far out things like that just sound like rumours”

“ ugh don’t think I forgot what you’ve done I would never forgive you in a million years for killing tubbo”

“ Tommy, the same tubbo that is the reason your out here in the first place, cut me some slack  _ brother _ ”

“ absolutely not, dream is the reason I’m out here and  _ you  _ also destroyed most of  _ our  _ family’s home techno! WITH WITHERS!”

“ violence is the only answer tommy” 

“ no no no techno god why are you here”

“ I’ll help you get your discs back”

“ what?” I say in shock “ what are you getting out of this?”

“ lmanburg will not exist anymore one collective smp without government”

“ no I can’t do that to tubbo as much as he hates me he’s still my friend and I absolutely will not take up that offer”

“ oh come on why not”

“ maybe because I know the story of Theseus techno and I know if I join you I’m going to end up being yeeted off a cliff. I know you techno you would not go against that storyline with your life you committed to me being Theseus in your little story. I will not die to the hand of someone like you even if you are my brother. Even if your family. I will not let it end up being just you and Phil, techno, and you shouldn’t want it to be that way either” 

There’s silence as he sips his wine taking in what I told him 

“ I may have been out here for what seems like ages, I may look like this, but I’m not dumb techno I would rather  _ die  _ than join you” I say

“ I’ll let you think it over” he says throwing his hand up nearly spilling the wine “ in the meantime here are a few more invis you look like your gonna need them”

“ if you rat me out about going back I swear to god you son of a bit-“

“ relax brother you’ll realize eventually. I’m your only option” he says leaving his cape blowing in the wind before the ender pearl lands and after a short menacing wave goodbye he’s just gone out of thin air.

The sun was now nearly completely set. He couldn’t have come at any other time. I'm running out of time and thanks to him I missed the last sunset I’ll ever see too. His offer was somewhat compelling but I knew as soon as I got the discs he would be trying to take down lmanburg and I didn’t want to be associated with that. At times I didn’t even want to be associated with lmanburg anymore. I think about every day how tubbo offered to run away. God sometimes I wish I did. It gets to be too much after a while all the wars and battles. I want discs as much as I want peace.

I gazed at the water and the sliver of sun left as my hand delved deep into the enderchest. I pulled out disc after disc. Come on, where was it? Far, C418… finally! I quickly found the second item I searched for and ran to the tree with the fake gift boxes. I picked out a flat rectangular box and pulled out the letter from the mess unfolding it and flattening it placing the disc and the book on top. I wrote on the gift tags. 

_ From: Tommy  _

_ To: tubbo  _

I put the box into my inventory and took a deep breath looking at the water. I was afraid. I’ve never been more afraid than I was tonight. The first day I felt overwhelming anxiety over the overwhelming depression. I stepped into the nether portal and the wave of heat hit me. 

I walked down to the nether hub and contemplated my actions as stood in front of the portal 

“ here goes nothing” I thought

I pulled one of the invis pots out of my bag and switched my inventory around so I had an open spot for my hand. I grabbed the bottle in my hand and gulped it down in a swift motion. I was fully invisible. I stepped in and saw the hazy vision of purple and then my old home. 

Punz laid on the wall by the arch where he was last time only this time it was dark and he was fast asleep snoring. Luckily it was going to be hard to see my particles because it was dark outside. I suddenly felt a rush of adrenaline. I felt alive. For once I felt like me . I ran and ran as fast as I could to lmanburg till finally I reached his front door. 

I paused running my hand down the door. I turned the knob and walked inside. I missed the wooden architecture of l’manburg which I haven’t seen in so long. I walked across the spacious living space with my belongings and made it to the loft where his bed lay. I sat on his king size bed remembering all the fun times we had at the beginning of his presidency. The sleepovers, the board games. Just two boys and their imagination. I think that’s what I missed most. Those nights that were rare in our lives but when we would just hang out. The moments where tubbo would tell me stories and we’d let our imaginations fly. Sometimes we’d even have quackity or Karl or ranboo over and that’s when it got really interesting. 

I pulled the box out and laid it on the bed. I opened it and made sure everything was in order. The way I wanted it. I wanted more than anything not to leave now that I was here. The worst part is I don’t know why he exiled me. Just that he did. Maybe if I could just hear why I wouldn't consider dying. But it was too late for that now. I took one last look around before reaching at the knob and I opened it and bam!

I stood startled.

“Sorry” I said without thinking 

“ what?!” He said turning around confused 

I took one look at his face and caved 

“ oh my god i-“ I say stunned 

“ who who’s there”

Then I remember I have invis on. I move out of the way of the door. 

“ h hello??” He says looking around 

“ sorry I thought I’d make it out before I made a fool of myself” 

“ wait I know that voice” he says “ t- Tommy” 

I grab the milk out of the fridge and drink it.

“ oh! oh my god!” He says stumbling back

“ hey tubbo.. “

“ how are you gonna get out of here”

“ don’t worry I have two more invis pots that one was mine the other two are from techno”

“ o oh- you and techno”

“ no absolutely not he came by and left an offer but I refused he gave me the potions to try to sway my decision”

“ I oh why are you here?! Why are you in my house”

“ I came to drop off my letter. It's on your bed. Please don’t read it while I’m here”

“ oh... tommy your not supposed to be here”

“ I know but I am and for you…” i say “ I should go-“

“ don’t go please”

“ what?”

“ I said don’t go please stay with me have food, play a board game, let me see you, hold you close to me, let me forget for just one moment that I ever let you go” he says eyes watery 

“ awe tubbo I- shouldnt I really shouldn’t”

“ please for me” he says 

“ for you I’ll do anything” I say walking close to him 

I grabbed him into a warm embracing hug. I pulled away and looked at his tear stricken face as he let out a laugh.

“ who’s been here to take care of you since I’ve been gone” I say grabbing a cookie out of the drawer 

“ I’ve been taking care of myself”

“ is that so! is my little tubbo in a box all grown up now” I say 

“ I don’t know about that I’ve made some crappy decisions as president I exiled you and attempted to execute your brother”

“ wait what?! Will or techno”

“ techno?”

He nods 

“ how?”

“ we found his house earlier and ransacked it, to be fair I wanted my revenge for him killing me and I missed you and he did blow up all of lmanburg with withers... I sent a anvil on his head”

I choke on the cookie when he says anvil 

“ an anvil?! did he lose a canon holy crap I didn’t think you were capable of being that evil'' i say 

“ no he had a totem and Phil who I put on house arrest for not telling technos location was laughing his ass off as he ran a way”

I let out a chuckle as he sent a glare my way. We sit on his bed together 

“ he had a totem! Jesus how long ago was this”

“ I don’t know like an hour and a half ago”

“ wait that’s why he came to see me he was on his way home from his own execution” I say laughing “ serves him right he might be my brother but sometimes he’s a bit much and Phil clearly love him more than me or will”

“ yeah but me you and will have each other”

“  _ had  _ eachother till he died and I got sent to the boonies to live my life out till I lose control”

“ yeah, how are you doing”

“ you of all people have no right to ask me that”

“ i I’m sorry” I say 

“‘Your sorrys not enough however, I would love and explanation of why you did it after we made a plan to do otherwise” I say clearly salty

“ Tommy I did to protect lmanburg to keep the country out of your discs affairs I figured it would be easier for everyone but I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t know it’d be the entire smp I thought it’d just be lmanburg and dream manipulated the crap out of me. honestly everything aside I’d much rather have techno in charge between the two of them”

“ yeah.. I kind of agree. You do realize you gave me no time to even get my things from my house I didn’t get any clothes sunscreen weapons echest nothing and I had nothing in my inventory plus dream tortured me everyday making me watch as he blew up my armour and he manipulated me and left me alone. he killed Mexican dream who offered to live with me in front of my face. I have these bags under my eyes because I can’t sleep at night because I wake up from nightmares about him. And nobody comes to visit me you haven’t even visited me once”

“ because I can’t! dream is still threatening me and l’manburg that if I and I alone go to visit you he’ll blow it up again” 

“ wait what?!” I say 

“ I’m serious that’s when I realized I severely fucked up letting you go”

“ Oh my god dreams a dictator holy shit!”

“ yeah and he hasn’t made life easy for Mexican lmanburg either”

“ wait who’s in Mexican lmanburg”

“ George, sapnap, Karl, and quackity”

“ wait so who’s in lmanburg”

“ Phil ranboo Niki fundy and Mexican lmanburg however niki and fundy ran away” 

“ so then dream has who? ponk and punz”

“ yep but he keep boasting about this prison he’s built and the badlands are all over the place with who they support”

There’s silence 

“ I just need a break. I'm so tired.. this job wasn’t make for kids like us I’m to clingy and scared and your too strong willed and irrational”

I nod

“ we really should’ve run away” he says 

I smirk at the idea 

“ not right now dream would find us I can’t put you at risk”

Tubbo starts crying 

“ are are you ok tubbo?” I say concerned

“ it’s just I was such a crappy friend I loved you and I sent you away and somehow you still are willing to be my friend”

“Shit Toby I have to go it’s getting late and I need to leave before dawn”

“ please don’t leave me” he says in tears 

“ I have to”

“ no you don’t we could run away or I could hide you here”

“ I can’t that wouldn’t be fair, after you exiled me, to jeopardize the whole town again tubbo I have to go”

“ but I’m the reason your going” 

“ your the reason I care and I live to be your friend and my family. those discs were never for me tubbo, they were for us so we could sit on that bench watching the sunset and I could see you smile” I say tears welling up in my eyes “ I don’t want to leave you tubbo I never wanted to leave you and I thought you wanted me gone so tubbo, I have to go because I love you and our friendship and my family to much to jeopardize everything any longer” 

I hug him sobbing in tears before pulling out the invis potion 

“ goodbye tubbo” I say 

I ran 

To the portal where punz was awake 

Back to my Home with the dry hot hair 

To the trailer where I set down my belonging 

To the barrel where I placed the the book

To the echest where I got my compass, a custom disc and a jukebox

To the beach where I stuck my toes in the sand 

As much comfort as he gave me tonight I couldn’t do this to my family anymore 

It was my time (TW/!! SUICIDE)

I stood ankle deep in the water 

_ I opened the box on my bedside  _

I stood knee deep in the water 

_ How to sex, and chirp his belongings my favorite disc and his favorite book in my hands  _

I stood chest deep in the water breathing heavy 

_ Dear my, tubbo  _

_ you have made the world a beacon of light in your presidency I see no doubt of that. For the country you did what was right. to appease dream you did what was right.  _

Shoulder deep 

_ In my time here I’ve learned dream always wins so there’s no use in even trying. He watched over me like a hawk 24/7 making me watch as he destroys my armour everyday and threatens to take my echest. I almost died infront of dream eyes today and he gave me food and water only to find a letter saying he was taking me to his luxury obsidian prison for the rest of my days.  _

_ No  _

Full body submerged

_ Surely not  _

_ I have every disc but cat and melohi and I wanted you to have this. I know it’s your favorite so please store it with care. And don’t worrry I’ll have my compass you know where to find me ;). I delivered this letter in person just so I could see lmanburg, the nation i gave independence to, one last time.  _

My limbs became tired as I started to give out sinking slowly into the ocean 

_ Just please know I know you don’t love me the same way I love you. I don’t even know if you love me or even like me anymore. If I knew making lmanburg and independent nation meant losing you I would’ve let them win to stay by your side  _

_ I began sobbing uncontrollably  _

I saw the sun come up on the horizon as my vision went dark and hazy and breath escaped my lungs. 

_ But I love you more than everything in the universe combined; it wasn’t your fault. _

_ Love, _

_ Your truly Tommy/big t  _

_ Ps. Enjoy this book  _

Ranboo, quackity, lazar, and drista. Will they be the last face I see before I die? No

Tubbo was, and that's all i could ask for 

No more danger 

No more heartache 

No more struggle 

No more lonesomeness 

Just quiet as the sun rose on the banks of my final dawn. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most action filled chapter so far but its far from the end :)


	6. Oblivious Ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo and phantommy have there first encounter and theres not a word in the dictionary that could accuratly describe it...
> 
> Thank you for all the feedback. i finally think ive fixed everything so it doesnt seem like a ship book and i wanted to change the title anyway so it kinda worked out. were gonna get into the good stuff now in the storyline. this is the last super sad chapter though so i hope you survived this depressing stuff of course it carrys over a bit into next chapter but then the mood lightens up a bit.

How can an object in the sky be so bright and shining upon the world when it feels like the walls are caving in and there's darkness around you. Or maybe this is what it feels like to be dead. Not what the naked eye would have perceived. More choice than anticipated, apparently being admitted to the other world required a survey of sorts. You answer the way you want to live your after life. 

Imagine if that's how it was when you began real life, if you got to decide how you wanted to live your life and your appearance. It's not a specific question, it's more like do you want to be visible to the human race, do you want people to feel your presence, do you want to stay in this world. I've heard some people don't get to choose. I thought i was choosing, but my mind kept going in and out like i was in some sort of brain fog and it was utterly confusing and yet i felt blissful. 

You may be asking what's it like being dead. Well so far, utterly confusuing, dark, and i feel a weird cold breeze all the fucking time and wet.  _ Very  _ wet as if my body is submerged in water and I don’t quite understand why.

Is this the afterlife do some people like me just never wake up?? Things have never felt so still but so busy at the same time.

Tubbo pov:

I woke up feeling off. Very off something just didn't feel right. I felt shaky and heavy, a sort of feeling I had never experienced to this gratitude before. However I could not place why. It felt like something was missing inside my body like something shifted in my head or my chest. I didn't know what was going on. Maybe I was still recovering from reading that letter. I figured that was the most logical reason. The last time that i felt like this however was when we witnessed wilbur get stabbed during the war. Why did it feel like I was grieving yet nobody else had died…

Hopefully nobody else had.

I tried to keep my mind off of those things praying everyone was safe and ok. I was supposed to meet Sam in an hour to work on our project with the guardian farm.i sat up in bed checking the time and grabbing the chirp disc out of my echest. I decided to play the disc as I got ready. I threw on my presidential suit and a pin on from the election that said pog 2020. I made a nice breakfast of egg and cheese sandwich with some milk to drink. 

“ good morning mr.president” i heard as i walked out the door

“ hey Karl how have you been!” 

“ i've been good me and quackity are supposed to work on mexican lmanburg today building it up with sapnap and stuff”   
“ sounds great please remind quackity we have a cabinet meeting at 8pm sharp though” i say “ hes always late”

“ for sure is everything ok? You seem off today”

“ i just have this looming feeling that something bad happened and its just throwing me off dont worry though it will all be fine”

“ hey tubbo do you have any vines i could use? Sorry to interrupt its for a project and i ran out” says niki as i make it down by the caravan

“ hmm i think… oh check my house in the basement i think i may have some in my greenery chest if not ill bring back some from my jungle home cause i'm heading there to work with sam for the day”

“ ok thanks also since you heard me say to karl same thing goes for fundy if you see him”

“ok!”

“ i'll be back in a bit let me know if you need anything”

With that I was off to go to sam. I took the long journey to our project. Finally eventually I arrived.

“ sam!”

“Tubbo?! I didn't know you were coming today to help”

“ i figured you could use some help and also i really want to get this done.” i say 

I pick up stacks and stacks of sand and start on the rows. 

“ so how have you been we haven’t both worked on this in awhile”

“ i know! I think the last time was right after i exiled tommy and let me tell you a lot of shit has gone down”

“Ooo fill me in?”

“ Sure, basically dream manipulated and continued to threaten me and lmanburg even after I exiled him and then I felt really bad because I realized how bad I screwed up. Tommy and I got custom compasses from ghostbur that point to each other. I went to go visit him but broke down and left. Then Tommy got a 45 minute visa to visit with Drista and I ran into him. He slipped me a note saying to read a letter he was going to leave for me”

“Hmm that's interesting did you and tommy talk at all like i feel like dream would have stopped you like it just seems very weird wilbur and tommy started the nation and there both not a part of it”

“ yeah i agree i did have a conversation with tommy though later because we bumped into each other when he was leaving with my house with invis dropping off the letter”

“ he stayed with me till dawn we played a board game took a nap and had a really nice conversation about everything”

“ awe”

“ We talked about how eachother had been doing and how dream was manipulating him and stuff and just enjoyed time with each other and I realized how much I missed him. I started crying when he said he had to leave. I wanted to hide him in lmanburg and help him and find a way for him to say but he said that wouldn't be fair to me or lmanburg after he exiled me for us to be involved with him and he didn't want to put us at risk”

“Jeez that sucks man. I know how much you care about him and never meant to hurt him”

“Thanks” i say

We continue working talking about random things with my presidency and politics. We try to stay out of what's going on politically because sam is neutral but he as my friend does get curious about my well being and how I am while he's not there which is understandable. After hours of working I see the sun start to set as I clear some sand. 

“You really tried to execute techno”

“Yeah and i regret it to say the least”

“What did the letter say from tommy”

“ I don't know if i really want to share; a lot of personal things, but there was one thing…” i start to say heading down to dig some sand out but i fell and died

“Uh tubbo” he says laughing

“I fell noo! I think a creeper blew up is my stuff ok?”

“ uhh let me check… your sword, axe, shovel, some of the sand, dirt, cobble, jungle vines, flint and steel, uhh that looks about it. The rest of your armour got destroyed, um a crossbow, what looks like a compass maybe”

“ n- n- no no no NO” i say running back 

“What”

“ i- surely not”

“Wait what?”

“Just please no i one minute im almost back”

I hurry up to look at the damage. 

“NO” i scream in tears

“Tubbo are you ok” he says running up to comfort me

“The compass!” i say in tears 

“wait- tubbo was that thee compass”

I sat crying holding the pieces in my hand

“ awe tubbo it's gonna be ok” he says hugging me 

“No no i lost it i-”

“Breath tubbo breath”

He stays with me as I calm down. I lost it, my one reminder he was still with me.

Tommys pov:

The light nearly blinded me as I opened my eyes. The room suddenly grew dark around me as my eyes adjusted. It was what looked like a living room with old wooden architecture and a round table. 

I stood up and began wondering around. Everything was oddly translucent including my body that was pale and clear with a simple shirt and pants all white. It was weird and unlike anything I'd ever experienced. Suddenly someone stopped in the doorway a soda in hand 

“ tommy” he said quietly dropping the soda in shock

“ wilbur!” i said running and hugging him tight

“ my right hand man tommy innit how are you here?” he asked in shock and happiness

“ i um its a long story”

“ that's fine anything to take me away from schlatt he's been drinking and begging me to gamble with him all afternoon”

We sat down on the couch and i told him everything

“ tommy it was not your time what were you thinking!” he said angrily

“ i was thinking i can't live without tubbo and my friends and i know how ghostbur works if i were to have a phantom of my own it would be much easier to get the discs”

“ oh tommy how would it even know the iscs existed you idiot they have extremely limited memory”

“ i left a book in logstedshire explaining everything and i left the compass to tubbo on my body so it could get tubbo for help”

“ oh my god tommy wait that's actually genius but what about if they won you'd still be stuck up here is that really worth it to you”

“ dream can bring people back and even if he didnt i couldnt take it anymore you had no idea the pain i went through in exile” i said nearly crying

He hugged me

“ how are dad and techno” he asked

“Techno and him have been inseparable since you died because they both are huge anarchists since Phil started hating the government because he had to kill you. Techno offered to help me find the discs but at the cost of lmanburg and i couldn't do that to tubbo”

Will nodded

“ how do i make something like ghostbur”

“ here at the roundtables if you click this button and swipe till you see visiting ghosts i think it was you fill in all the info and i think it'll end up in the inbetween where all those ghost live schlatt handed me a book he found on it one day”

“ thanks” i said starting “ have you worked on any music up here”

“ yeah but most of them are on how much i hate schlatt” he said rolling his eyes “ schlatt didn't even make a ghost he just got up here and drank a swore and isolated himself unless he wanted me to gamble with”

“ fucking hell why isnt he in hell instead of here”

“ good question ive done a lot of research on this while ivebeen up here basically the nether used to be hell and then steve made the portal to the living earth and everyon knew how to do it so there really is no heaven or hell anymore which right now fucking sucks”

“ yeah here just finished why don't we go catch up” i said as i confirmed the ghost creation

Phantommy pov

White walls regal and prestigious. The great hall was built with precision. somehow white had never looked so exquisite and yet here I was in a giant room. I had no clue where I was I wore a simple pair of tan khakis and a white block with a fern sat in front of me with a book neatly placed in the frame 

_ Welcome to the in between  _

_ Your going to want to explore this place if you want to remember  _

_ If your a ghost though this place is simply your home and a place to keep remembering things you learn down in the real world  _

_ Once you’ve been here you can’t be anywhere else for long  _

I put the book back 

The in between something about this place was enticing and odd it didn’t seem normal. I had no memory of anything in my past life or who I was, where I was. I wandered down the halls till I came across a courtyard still large and white. The tree was a birch tree with white leaves and a swing set in front. The sight was beautiful. Suddenly I noticed Ghostbur sitting on the swing reading a book and friend on the other swing.

“ ghostbur?” I said 

His head shot up to meet my gaze 

“ T- Tommy?” He said “ what are you doing here would you like some blue”

“ I don’t know I just suddenly was in that great room and read a book that said this was this in between and I came in here and for some reason I remember you??” I said 

“ you remember me because I was a part of your old life to you can go back.. if you want”

“ really?!”

“ yeah! You can go back whenever you want. I would ask you how you died but you probably don’t know.”

“ no I don’t know”

“ well you’ll end up where you died when you go back so you’ll probably get some answers” 

“ hey look tubboat” I said watching the bee in the tree

“ hmmm he must be your spirit animal” said ghostbur “ blue?”

“ what is blue”

“ Well when you're sad you take this blue and your sadness fills it up turning it blue and then you get rid of it! It makes you happy” he said holding some out 

“ but I’m not sad I’m content and I don’t remember anything”

“ I oh I forgot sorry! You can take some for when you go back down you're going to need it”

I took it storing it in my inventory as I wandered around looking at the tree picking up a book. I looked back at ghostbur. He looked sad and upset as he hugged friend in his arms. A blue tear fell down his cheek”

“ what’s wrong” I said rushing over giving him a hug

“ I think.. I think I failed tommy… I said I would keep giving him blue to try to make him happy but I stopped coming as much because I kept having to spend more time here” 

“ you didn’t fail tommy here take my blue” I said handing him it and sitting down 

“ this place is beautiful there’s a reason we’re supposed to be here and explore this wonder and I’ll help you figure it out ok”

“ can you do this for me?” 

“ of course anything”

“ go back, go back to the world and figure out why you're here, find out more, learn and grow. People think I’m just some ghost who gives out blue but Tommy.. they don’t know how hard it is. I'm warning you if you go down there you're gonna learn things, you're gonna risk forgetting but you’ll still have people in your corner ok. Go home tommy”

I nod 

I swim up to the surface and look at my hands pale and white. My pair of khakis were on with no shirt and the water was burning. I glanced down as my eyes fixated on a bright glow at her bottom of the water. I swam down through the sea and quickly saw what it was. 

My body. 

I wanted to freeze out of feeling petrified but the burns from the water were getting worse. I grabbed my body and dragged it to shore. I pulled it out of the water and layer on the beach. Watching as my water burns went away and I was completely dry.

I looked at my reflection in the water, my skin was a pale gray, my fluffy blond hair clean and pristine. My blue eyes popped with the white skin. My skin was baby smooth, not a cut, scratch or bruise and my feet were barefoot.

I look over at my body lifeless in the sand. There were bruises and scratches everywhere as well as a sunburn and heat blisters with large bags under my eyes. My hair was greasy and wet. I had a pair of boots and some awful ripped clothing. It made me wonder what happened to me

I knew I was in logstedshire but I didn’t know what had happened I had no memory whatsoever of here except a little whole I’m the hill where tubboat lived. I removed the boots and socks off my body so they could dry and I could wear them.

I decided my body needed a proper goodbye so I could have a closure. I made a bed and rolled my body on top of it. I created a sort of flower bed out of hundreds of flowers. And leaves and sticks. 

Tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t believe I was saying goodbye. For a moment I regretted everything I wanted to be back on that body and fight through the pain but I knew there was some reason I was there and I had to find it. Just then I noticed something sticking out of the pocket. I grabbed it to inspect it further 

It was a compass with the engraving 

_ Your tubbo  _

Something about the name  _ tubbo _ sounded so familiar. Did it lead to this so-called tubbo? Should I follow it? I decided this was my only logical option to find out what had happened and how I died.

I stared at the sun to try to gage a time it looked to be about 7:15pm roughly. I decided before I trekked on the journey to find this mysterious tubbo I would go visit tubboat.

The hill hole was slightly warmer than the surrounding air however the temperature was still chilly and I was without a shirt or shoes.

Tubboat buzzed excitedly as he saw me walk through.

“ hey you ok buddy?” I say smiling 

I took a look around at the pictures. We’re these tubbo? Was that why the bees name was tubboat

Something green on the couch caught my eyes. It was a sweater 

“Thank god I'm freezing” I thought as I put on the green sweater.

The weird heartache this place emanated made me feel like it was time to go out and follow this compass. It was my first and only clue which piqued my curiosity. 

I slid the socks and shoes which were now dry upon my feet. My mind raced excited and happy to go on this adventure to find whatever or whoever this led me to. I sank into the boat I created and set sail through the wide deep sea.

Tubbo pov

“ finally you're here. you literally begged us to show up on time and your a half an hour late” says quackity

“I i know s sorry” i saw stumbling into the caravan

“Oh my god tubbo are you ok? Asks fundy 

“ i just i lost my prized possession in a creeper explosion and i'm overwhelmed and i just feel off like i'm grieving yet no one i can think of is dead and i don't know what to do”

“ do you want to have a meeting another day?”

“ no no this is important and I wanted your opinion because I don't know what to do. me and tommy convened with each other last night in my quarters from dusk till dawn and i just guys i can't lose him again i know as the president it doesn't make sense to bring him back since i exiled him but as my friend dreams pulling us apart and i miss him like crazy we need each other to balance the other one out or else were weak. i haven't had a right hand man for month and it's just getting to be to hard”

“ i get that but why not just get a new vp. why not… it's just i don't know what the townspeople would think and honestly i don't know how i feel about that with those disc affairs''

“ yeah tubbo i'm not sure if we can do anything for tommy even though i know you want to”

“ i couldn't just get a new VP. Nobody would be a better right hand man to me than tommy. you all hate him but he's my friend dream just keeps trying to tear us apart and it's getting harder and harder to try to be there for him because dream is trying to use me to get that damn disc… what you don't understand is as long as i have this disc were still a part of the disc affair dream just wanted tommy out of the way.”

“ if that's true then just give the disc to someone else tubbo please for lmanburg”

“ NO! I WILL NOT BETRAY TOMMY. I'm sorry but I never asked to be president. Of course i want what's best for lmanburg but we did not start this nation tommy and wilbur did. And guess what! Now wilbur is dead so tommy is the closest to a founding father of this nation of anyone who is still alive which means l’manburg will always, till the day it dies, be associated with him. For once in your life please just think about the people. The place could be blown up but we need to be agreed upon or our nation will end with our insubordination and lack of our own accord”

Silence falls across the van

“ Just think it over guys please just go home and think about your commitment to the people in this nation and the strength unity between us could bring. i've been working my ass off to protect this nation but it's never going to be safe no matter how hard i try so just go home think it over and we'll reconvene tomorrow”

Silence echoed over the caravan.

I sat working on some paperwork in the caravan for prolonged ours but I spent the majority of time in my head about everything. Ultimately I decided to go visit tommy. Dream was offline anyway and this might be my last opportunity before he gets taken away. I didnt even get to mention the whole prison thing to them before they left cause i got so fed up. I packed up my paperwork in my briefcase and left it in the caravan before going to grab my compass out of the echest.

Shit it really was gone…

Even so I knew where logstedcire was and would make it there in due time. I exited the trailer and ran about 50 yards towards the prime path before I saw Tommy standing there. In the sunset on the prime path next to lmantree. I should've taken a closer look...

“Tommy! I was just coming to see you!” i say before running up and hugging him

He paused a moment before hugging back. His body felt cold to the touch in my arms. This was unlike him whose hugs always engulfed me in a blanket of warmth. Standing a few meters back now my hand shook as I had a moment to fully gaze upon him. His skin was a pale gray, his hair puffy and his skin smooth. He was wearing my green sweater, the one I left, it just- I couldn't feel anything. My body went numb, my vision went hazy. I felt like I was about to faint and cry at the same time. 

My hand shot to my mouth as my eyes began to water

“T-tommy’ i choke out not being able to consume oxygen into my lungs

He looked down at the compass and back at me 

“ did i know you? Were you important to me tubbo”

In those words I lost all sense of reality, movement, and thought. He was gone and he didn't even remember me. My mind raced yet sitting there on the path clutching at my chest I realized the feeling I had all day was indeed grief and it was all my fault.


	7. Right Hand Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its time to right some wrongs. time to get his right hand man back
> 
> IMPORTANT NOTICE: I updated some of the afterlife sequence in the previous chapter so i would suggest rereading the chapter if possible. Im super proud of this chapter and am loving how the story is turning out. please let me know your thoughts on chapter length because i am slightly worried there getting to long so lmk your opinions. thanks for the support.

I watched as the boy named Tubbo in front of me sank into the floor in desperation. Clearly the question I had asked had a viable response; you wouldn't need any words to know the answer to what I had asked. He was in despair seeing me as a ghost, his hands shaking, his eyes leaking tears as he tried to comprehend that someone so close to him was dead. Of course he was important to me anyone could have known that in the moment when his body emanated heartache and grief. It broke my heart to see him like this. Even though i had no memory of our relationship it was like i knew standing there somehow i knew him my whole life.

I leaned down and wrapped my arms around him

“ your gonna be ok i'm sure whatever happened with me had nothing to do with you just breathe”

“It was all my fault, it's all my fault” he said repeatedly under his breath 

“ tubbo breathe it wasn't your fault”

He stopped for a moment taking a shaky breath as if those words struck him in some way. As if he had remembered something the old me had done or said.

_ It wasnt your fault  _

_ Love, _

_ Yours truly tommy/big T _

“ that wasnt just a letter it was a warning and a a suicide note” he said outloud processing it

I continued to sit by his side comforting him

“ i i’m tubbo” he says turning towards me “ i i was y your best friend”

“ hi im phantommy and i have no clue how i died or why i'm here…” i say

There's silence

“ you said something about suicide?” i ask

“ yeah i was thinking maybe the letter you gave me yesterday might suggest suicide cause you said it wasnt my fault and you gave me some of your most precious belongings. The only other explanation is dream killed you”

“ Whose dream?”

“ he's a bad man on this server” he replies

“ would you mind helping me find out more about everything that happened there must be a reason i did what i did there just something i'm missing that i can't quite remember”

“ of course i'll help you. For you i'll do anything” he says almost giving a smile but still sad looking at his hands on his lap

“ you know that sweater you are wearing its mine” he says after a bit of silence

“ oh um do you want it back i found it in the hill hole by tubboat i just figured-”

“ no no keep it” he says genuinely

There's silence as we look at the tree

“ do you think you could get back to logstedchire on your own cause theres a few things i have to take care of before i go with you”

“ i dont think so i uh used this compass to get here”

“Ok um you could stay with me for the night i guess and we can leave in the morning after i finish the things i need to do”

“ ok” i say before I look at him 

We take a moment looking into eachothers eyes. Why was I here what the fuck happened to me in past life?! We approached the front door which seemed all too familiar. The inside brought back memories of night of sleepovers and fun with him and some other people who I couldn’t quite make out. Just then I noticed a light blue orchid on the coffee table.

“That flower it looks oddly familiar”

“ that sweater you're wearing I uh.. I took this flower when i left that i wanted something as a reminder of you or uh tom-” he stops mid sentence starting to choke up 

“ oh tubbo i'm still tommy and I will remember you, I promise. how could i forget the happiest thing of tommys life”

“ but you didnt recognize me-”

“ tubbo i don't remember anything, but so far the only things i seem to remember have all correlated with you and you make me feel like i've known you my whole life even if i haven't realized it yet”

“ c- can i see your compass please i uh just realized you said you um had one”

I handed the compass over and closed his hand around it

“ keep it as long as you need” i said

He opened the compass slowly read the engraving on the inside

“ was this the first thing you had when you woke up?” he asked

“ yeah it was on my body…”

“ wait you know where his body is?

“ yeah tommy d d-” phantommy couldn't quite say it feeling discomfort himself thinking about it

“ you uh don't have to say” said tubbo before looking out the window

“ he drowned in the sea just off logstedchire… tubbo im sorry he loved you. He  _ loves  _ you so much”

Tubbo started whimpering crying 

“ Oh Tommy,” he said, turning around latching onto me. crying on my chest 

Tommy led tubbo to his bed and laid him down laying with him trying everything he could to comfort him 

“ you should rest it's been a long day”

“ please don't leave me” he whimpered 

“ i won't i'm here”

Eventually Tommy heard as tubbo stopped crying and fell asleep. He laid with tubbo till he was passed out. He felt awful for everything as he fell asleep as well

Tubbo pov

I woke up in a cold sweat after having a nightmare. I wiped the sweat on my face and ran my fingers through my hair sitting up. Tommy laid on the bed next to me fast asleep. My eyes gazed over at the clock on the wall to gage the time. It appeared to be about 3am. I was breathing heavy trying to relax again. I felt tears well in my eyes. The tears started to cascade as the memories of last night entered my broken consciousness. I tried to be as quiet as possible as I got up wiping my eyes taking the chirp disc downstairs to my office. I knew there was no way I was going back to sleep.

I pulled out a stack of stationary as I began writing letters for an emergency town meeting. I thought about my plan praying that I was making the right decision this time. I couldn't bear being wrong again. I tried to keep my mind clear and not think about tommy but that didn't last long as i heard a knock on my door and saw phantommy leaning on the doorway. I took the disc out and set it on the desk.

“ why are you up” he asked sweetly 

“ I woke up from a nightmare and couldn’t go back to sleep”

“ oh uh ok can I help you with anything”

“ could you maybe just grab me a glass of warm milk and deliver these letters to the town”

“ of course-“

“ wait actually um just the milk please I don’t want people to know your here as a ghost yet if that’s ok”

“ I understand” he replied with a nod before leaving 

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in and I relaxed back into my seat trembling from the anxiety and cold.

“ here and I brought you this” he’s said handing me the glass of warm milk and a cookie 

“ thank you” I said smiling “ you can sit down if you’d like”

“ I think I will head up to bed again but don’t worry think of me as your guardian angel even from as close as your room I can still watch over you” he said with a smile 

I nodded before leaving as well exiting my house to the cool fresh air stopping by every mailbox to get the word out about the town meeting. I wanted for once for everything to go as planned. By the time I arrived back home it was already about 5am as I passed out in my bed again next to tommy. 

I was awoken suddenly to a pounding on my front door that jolted it awake. I checked the time it was about 10 which meant I'd slept in and only had about an hour and a half to prepare for the town meeting.

“Tubbo?” I heard muffled through the door.

“ ONE MINUTE” i yelled down accidentally waking up tommy 

“ sorry can you do me a favor and just chill in here or in the bathroom while i get ready and talk to fundy and whoever else is here i also have a town hall i have to go to but as soon as i get back we can leave to logstedchire ok” i say pulling up my suit pants and buttoning up my button down

“ sounds good” he said as i grabbed my suit jacket 

“ help yourself to food and stuff after we leave ok,” I said, straightening the jacket and searching through the drawer for my tie till I found it.

I attempted to put the tie on but in a rush messed up and got frustrated.

“ tommy can you help me with this”

He stood in front of me as he tried to do the tie quickly and finished the motion swiftly

Emotion began to overcome me as he completed tying my tie as i remembered the day i was chosen to be president and we sat down in front my mirror and he taught me how to tie my tie

“ You look great,” he said brushing off my shoulder pads.

I smiled as my eyes watered remembering every detail about that moment with Tommy being alive and helping me get ready for my first day as president.

“TUBBO?” i heard fundy yell

I snapped out of it taking a deep shaky breath

“ i- i'll see you later big man” i said but it just didn't feel the same

I made my way to the door opening it swiftly revealing fundy and quackity

“ sorry i had to get dressed i was up till 5am last night” i said

“ oh no why?” asked fundy

“ it's a long story come in” i say

They come in and follow me to my office

“ so what's this about a town emergency meeting tubbo it's got the whole town talking” says quackity

“ yeah you uh never mentioned anything about an emergency meeting yesterday i hope its nothing to do with our conversation yesterday” he said

“ I um it very much does…”

“ tubbo..” said quackity inquisitively

“ listen i got fed up wit you guys and sent you away without telling you the full story”

I debated handing them the letter before i decided it was necessary

“ just um read this” 

I watched fundys eyes go wide as he read it before handing it off to quackity

“ tell me why you goddamn left out the part about him going to prison” said quackity

“ i was upset emotions were high after reading that i didn't want to let tommy down and the emergency meeting doesn't even have to do with that”

“ how can it not?” said fundy concerned

There's silence as i think over my options

“ here sorry i'm just trying to figure out the best way to tell you..”

“ tell us what” 

“ one minute i will be back”

I left the room and rushed up to tommy

“ hey uh i need a favor i know i said i didn't want to show anyone you came back as a ghost but just fundy and quackity ok you don't have to say anything”

“ ok” he said as he followed me downstairs

“ stay out here till i say come in ok” i said already starting to get teary all over again

He nodded

I walked back in

“ are you ok tubbo?” asked fundy concerned

“ no not in the slightest”

“ tubbo what the hell happened after we left man your starting to worry me”“ 

“i just- i cant- promise you wont tell anyone that hes back in this form” i say

“ i uh promise i guess what does that even mean”

I sink into my hands exhausted and sad 

“Come in tommy” i said

“ wait what tommys here-”

“ Oh my god tubbo” said fundy

“ T-tommy this cant be fucking real im seeing things”

“ no its very fucking real. that letter you read was what we think to be a suicide note” i started breaking out in tears “tommy drowned in logstedshire”

“ oh my god tubbo are you ok”

“ what do do you mean am i ok is that even a question he died and even though i know it's not my fault i still feel like it is”

There's silence as i collect myself to finish what i was saying

“ hi i'm uh- i'm phantommy”

“Jesus Christ, that's not real. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL” quackity said breaking down

“ i know but just listen to me for a second” i said

“ nobody else knows that he's back as a ghost or even dead. I don't want anyone know to he's back as a ghost yet but the meeting is so i can tell people he died so please don't tell anyone he's back as a ghost” i says seriously

They nod fundys eyes watery and quackity more silent then id seen him in ages

“ ok can we uh visit the body”

“ i'm going with tommy after the meeting but maybe you can come some other time” i said

They nodded again

“ i um there's more to the meeting though beyond tommy's death though '' i say '' i'm stepping down as president at least temporarily to help phantommy remember everything and try to make up for everything i did to tommy… i can't do this anymore for my sake i'm just a kid i can't take the pressure especially now with the loss im feeling so i'm giving it temporarily to someone else”

“ yeah i uh that makes sense” said quackity broken 

“ do you know who your giving it to yet” asked fundy

“ uh yeah but ill just say at the meeting if thats ok” 

They nod

After a long sorrow filled silence they got up and hugged me tight

“Please let us know if you need  _ anything _ ” said fundy

I nod

I watched as they left and tried to take some nice big breaths just trying to relax

Eventually it was time for the town meeting

I took a deep breath staring at the crowd before tapping my mic

“Uh hello might i start out with saying this speech is going to be very hard for me to get through but i have a duty as president to explain this to you. I didn't prepare a speech for today because this was last minute and im dyslexic. As you can see i have my right hand men here quackity and fundy but neither one of them is really my right hand man… i'm going to be real with you all i almost brought tommy back but didn't because you were all against it… you guys never seemed to understand me and tommy are just kids and as his friend i never wanted to throw him out of the country i never wanted to leave him but i did that to him and i felt awful. I can't take the pressure of being president anymore, i can't leave knowing you all aren't safe in the meantime. I put you all more in danger than tommy did because i have the disc and i have personal matters to attend as president. For now there are still few original members who remain and so i say in front of you all today i resign as being president temporarily till i get back on my feet”

“ wait what?” said karl

“ tubbo?!” said niki 

“ i know but i can't be the leader you need, not now and maybe not ever. Me as your president was never meant to be. I don't want to finish this great unfinished symphony wrong. I've done enough to hurt you all but before I go let me just say a few words. One last time.. I want to make this nation come together to make sure you all stay together promise you will stay united in the face of tyranny and anarchy all i ask is you don't destroy the nation due to the lack of your own accord because this is home and i don't want to have to teach you to say goodbye to something you love because it hurts. Think about wilbur, think about this nation's ideals and everything we stand for so in the name of lmanburg do not throw away your shot as a country i beg of you”

I sit in silence taking some deep breaths 

“ Niki, fundy you will be joining as temporary co-leaders till I'm ready to come back which may be a long time. Before I ask you come up though one last thing everyone please come to tommy's funeral a week from today”

The whole audience started freaking out about tommy's funeral screaming about if he's dead or not

“ he commited suicide in exile i i i - cant do this sorry” i said in tears before running offstage

“Quackity please close the speech and don't tell people to check up on me im leaving with tommy”i say running off crying 

I heard quackity as he started speaking 

“We all know how close tommy and tubbo were and im honestly worried about if tubbo will be able to live without tommy. I know he just kind of dropped it on you but he doesn't know much about the death yet however tommy was said to be sentenced to life in dream’s prison and lost his best friend… some of you side with dream and why, this is what he fucking does to people. he killed tommy and yeah were all a bit responsible but tubbo is right listen to the words he gave and head to his advice for his sake and the sake of lmanburg. Fundy and niki you meet me and tubbo in back to transition power well make a speech for you tommorow” he said solemnly 

I sat against the caravan balling my eyes out 

“ tubbo there you are i've been looking for you” said fundy out of breath

“ i want him to come back to me where is my tommy” i said crying

“ tubbo i'm here for you” he says “ we all are”

“ but your not tommy” i say

“ look i know i'm not but tommy would have wanted you to stay strong and help phantommy ok help him remember and maybe he'll come back to you”

“ it will never be the same he's not my tommy i want  _ my  _ tommy” i say falling onto myself wiping the steady stream of tears

Suddenly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. Soon two more joined

“ i'm so unbelievably sorry tubbo we do frequently forget you and tommy are just teens and your speech was very moving”

“ thank you” i said wiping my eyes starting to feel better

“ why me though and not quackity or something”

“ quackity is too much of a loose cannon in my opinion. It was too risky and I wanted some female representation. You've been here from the start and I know you miss wilbur. I figured it would give you a chance to continue his legacy. Tell his story” i said 

“ hello im right here?!” said quackity

“ i know” i said with a giggle “ quackity i still want you up helping with fundy and niki and there not allowed to fire you you can distribute the power between you however you like though” 

“ ok” he responded

“ tubbo you don't know how crazy its been to see you grow as president”

“ thank you fundy can you just do me a favor and one of you pick up the ankle monitor for phil and remind him i'm sorry i included on his invitation he was off house arrest”

“Of course” said niki

“I'm gonna go rest for a bit. keep people away from my home for a while please”

“Ok” they said nodding 

I headed home and slowly turned the lock trudging my body inside. I smiled seeing phantommy knowing that although he was not  _ my  _ tommy he was a piece of the tommy i once knew.

“ do you think your ready”

I nodded

“ I couldn't cry anymore if I wanted to. I need to be at peace with myself and teach myself how to say goodbye.”

“ i'll see you on the other side”

I smiled at the hamilton reference 

How does someone live tell their platonic soulmates' story?


	8. Honeybee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tubbo finally sees his best friend and gets to lay him to rest. tommy gets homesick up in heaven. tubbo finds the disc on his friends body and remembers a few thing that teach him he may be ok after all. phantommy might just finally remember...
> 
> Shorter chapter today i figured id keep each chapter roughly 2500 words because somewere starting to near 4000. on another note the song this chapter revovles around is honeybee by stream powered giraffe and i would suggestlistening to it while reading through that section to get the whole affect. lmk what you think about incorperating music as well

The breeze in logstedshire just doesn't compare to anywhere else. It's soft and warm like a comforting blanket to anyone who has the privilege but it's also stained of the grief, anger, and sadness this place had been indebted to with the arrival of my recently deceased friend. If this isn't a place of sorrow I would much like to believe it would be a place of beauty and peace. But today more than ever the breeze felt sticky and heavy. It knew what had happened and it knew what laid on its shore.

No words were said once we entered the portal. I searched around before I saw the flower filled bed and him lifeless on the beach. 

I rushed over and although i thought i had no more tears left in me i felt as my eyes began to water. His body was now dry but an awful shade of pink. patches of scaly dry skin and the plethora of cuts and bruises. His slightly fluffy hair moves softly with the breeze. his eyes were lifeless and cold. He had a large gash on his upper lip and heat blisters across his forehead.

“ you didn’t close the eyes” said tubbo looking at phantommy

“ it didn't feel right maybe you should”

“ me no way he'd never want me to do that i'm the reason he's dead”

“ tubbo please for tommy he loved you remember”

i let out a shaky breath kneeling at his side

“ Tommy, I'm so sorry I did this to you” he said eyes welling with tears as he closed his best friends eyes “if you can hear me i love you tommy i'm so sorry i didn't get to show you how much before you died. I loved you more than anyone or anything and i- I can't believe you're gone. You were my best friend and i should have protected you tommy how am i supposed to live without you”

He curled up next to tommy crying into his chest 

Tommy pov: 

“ EY WHO WANTS TO WIN SOME MONEYYY” said schlatt stumbling out of the quarters drunk as a ever

“ schlatt im not fucking gambling with you not today”

“ oh come on you knthow you want to” he said nearly tripping and falling

“ ay tommay you want some money”

“ jesus schlatt man pull yourself together”

Schlatt turned around seemingly angry before slamming his beer bottle into the ground sending shards of glass everywhere.

“ schlatt come on why do you do things like that YOU THINK I WANT TO CLEAN UP YOUR SHIT” yelled wilbur

“ well your gonnaa” he said stumbling around laughing

“ you see what i have to deal with” he said looking at me as schlatt disappeared

There's silence for a minute as i get lost in my thoughts thinking about all my friends and family back home missing them all

“Hey are you ok” asked will worryingly

“ i'm just homesick” i replied

“ i um here let me show you something”

Wilbur lead him to the round table where he started swiping and putting in passcodes for a picture of his body in the button room showed up

“ i is that live”

“ yeah i never check it considering nobody ever goes to visit”

“ i feel bad now we should've had a funeral”

“ It's ok, it brings back memories. That's a lot of the reason I was able to make peace with myself up here and calm down. i used binge drink and be insane when i first got here with schlatt then one day i figured out how to work this feature of the round table and i started doing some self reflection”

“ wait! Look somones at yours” i said watching

“ oh my god thats phil!”

“ he hasn't gone there since he stabbed me, nobody has, i set up alerts i- why is he there”

“ can you hear what he's saying”

“ i've never been able to figure out the audio frequency part of it but i can try i was super close to getting it to work last time”

He fidgeted with the different buttons trying to get it 

“ holy shit i think i got it!” he said “ tommy i've spent months trying to figure this out”

“ here let me just set it to 115… press this”

“ i'm so sorry I failed you. I have not visited since- since that day because i haven't been able to live with myself. Ie teamed with techno against government because it made me loose you but it was only because i was hurting and i needed a way to take out the pain but will i can't do it anymore will i i failed you but i-” said phil before choking up and beginning to cry

“ oh my god he's crying” said will in shock

“ I failed Tommy, he was just a child. You guys were my sons. Will, you made me a grandpa. i'm losing my mind. I'm losing everything I've ever loved. i know techo always says technoblade never dies but what if he did i just i miss you you so much i don't even know if you can hear me but i hope you and tommy are well”

Will shut off the audio

“ i cant listen to this anymore” he said eyes watery 

“ can i do this”

“ yeah here let me just-” he said starting to pull up mine at a different table

Tommy looked at the screen which was black

“ oops sorry one sec let me get the audio as well ..”

Both turned on at once

“ oh will i dont know if i could do this” I said suddenly noticing tubbo and another figure at my body on a shore in flowers

“ you didn't close the eyes” said tubbo looking at the figure 

“i think that might be phantommy i can't tell” said will

“ it didn't feel right maybe you should” said the phantom

“ yeah im glad he found him” i said “here let me listen 

“ me no way he'd never want me to do that im the reason he's dead”

“ tubbo please for tommy he loved you remember”

My breath hitched seeing him and hearing him after what felt like ages

he let out a shaky breath kneeling at my side

“ Tommy, I'm so sorry I did this to you” he said eyes welling with tears as he closed his best friends eyes “if you can hear me i love you tommy i'm so sorry i didn't get to show you how much before you died. I loved you more than anyone or anything and i- I can't believe you're gone. You were my best friend and i should have protected you tommy how am i supposed to live without you”

He curled up next to my body crying into my chest. i could  _ feel _ it. I cried loudly. Will turned off the audio and came to comfort me. I started thinking about the jukebox, disc, and compass I left and how much I missed him. i went to lay down overwhelmed and upset

Phantommy:

I laid there trying to give tubbo and the alive me some space as he grieved. Eventually with time he got up and searched tommys pockets for anything. I watched as he pulled out a disc and a jukebox. He walked over to me after staring at it for a while. He silently handed me the disc

“ what is this?” i asked as he handed it to me

There was a note on top of the disc

_ Dear tubbo, _

_ I don't know if you remember when we were kids and brought you into the family. You used to love being outside with the bees and Phil would always try to make you happy. He bought this custom record and used to play it to keep you calm and happy and i always liked it because the lyrics were always something i related to in our friendship. i kept the disc after i made my own home back in lmanburg. i played it for you just once the night you became president to calm you down and help you sleep. The song belongs to you now. Also i know i never truly got to say goodbye the letter i gave you wasn't specific to anything and you deserve more. I know you're probably in pain right now but just listen. Phantommy can phase through walls and yeah it may not seem like he can remember but i left a book in the trailer that contains the most important contents of my life in terms of memories all written down so he knows everything. Help him get the discs back please for me. I don't know if ill ever see you again but i probably miss you like hell wherever i am. Please take care of phil and techno for me too. I hope you're doing good my honeybee… _

_ Love, Tommy _

_ Disc- HONEYBEE) steam powered giraffe _

“ oh uh oh why don't we go look for that book”

Tubbo nodded overwhelmed and conceded as we walked to the trailer

We started searching though the barrels till finally tubbo pulled out a book titled 

_ Memory! DO NOT TAKE _

_ By: tommyinnit _

“ i think this is it” he said

i sat on the bed. Tubbo threw the book at me.

“ are you ok?” I ask before opening it 

“ no but this isn’t my time to have someone worry about me, you need to read everything in the book I’ll walk you through it ok and whatever you here it’s because you need to know what happened” he said “ I don’t even know what he wrote…” 

I grabbed a jukebox and placed it by the bed 

“ wha- why?”

“ you should listen to the disc” I finally said 

“ but I I just don’t know if I can”

“ this isn’t any easier for me then you Tommy’s dead fuckin body is laying out there and j don’t have a clue what happened except just this feeling that you meant so much to him. There’s a reason I was given the compass to find you and a reason he left the disc”

“ ok” he said 

I sat on the bed as tubbo situated himself on my lap considering there wasn’t much room on the small cot in the room. Tubbo cuddled against me in my lap suprised me. He was so… what’s the word .. clingy. But it seemed oddly normal. I didn’t ask him to move and it definitely didn’t feel weird it just felt, comforting. 

I peeled the note off the disc and stuck it in the last page in the notebook. Suddenly I heard the sound of a buzzing bee and tubbo got up and opened the door.

“ it’s tubboat!”he said happily 

The bee buzzed warmly as he sat down in my lap again with it in his arms. I put the disc in 

Tubbos pov

_ You didn’t have to look my way _

_ Your eyes still haunt me to this day  _

_ But you did yes you did  _

_ You didn’t have to say my name  _

_ ignite my circuits start a flame  _

_ But you did  _

Truth is I did remember the song.  _ Very  _ well

_ Oh turpentine erase me whole  _

_ Cause I don’t want to live my life alone  _

_ Well I was waiting for you all my life _

I thought back the day he bought it at an old vinyl record shop for me 

__

_ Set me free… _

_ My honeybee _

_ Honeybee  _

Phantommy held me as I looked out the window, eyes closed taking deep breaths, I was nearly smiling. I truly had no tears left to give 

_ You didn’t have to smile at me  _

_ Your grins the sweetest I’ve ever seen  _

_ But you did yes you did  _

_ You didn’t have to offer you hand cause since I kissed it I’m at your command  _

Thoughts of techno and Wilbur coming into our room making fun of us for constantly playing it

_ But you did  _

_ Oh turpentine erase me whole  _

_ Cause I don’t want to live my life alone _

_ Well I was waiting for you all my life _

I never understood till now why Tommy liked the song so much until now in his ghost arms 

__

_ Set me free.. _

_ My honeybee  _

_ Honeybee  _

My watery eyes fell down my checks but I seemed calm and at ease as phantommy wiped them away and I enjoyed the pleasant bee on my lap 

_ Hello goodbye it was nice to know you _

_ how I find myself without you _

_ that I’ll never know  _

_ I let myself go _

No I let myself go… 

_ Hello goodbye I’m rather crazy  _

_ And I never thought I was crazy  _

_ But what do I know _

_ I let myself go  _

_ My honeybee  _

_ Honey bee  _

I would always be his honeybee no matter where I was 

__

_ Hello goodbye it was nice to know you _

_ how I find myself without you _

_ that I’ll never know I let myself go _

_ Hello goodbye I’m rather crazy  _

_ And I never thought I was crazy  _

_ But what do I know _

_ I let myself go  _

What am I without him?? 

_ Hello goodbye it was nice to know you _

_ how I find myself without you _

_ that I’ll never know I let myself go _

_ Hello goodbye I’m rather crazy  _

_ And I never thought I was crazy  _

Myself. That didn't mean I didn't miss when he hold me when we listened to this and he was alive. 

Now it was just a ghost 

And I was me…

Alone but myself. 

I looked at phantommy smiling.

Phantommy POV

“ time to get those discs back” he said

“ what” I replied perplexed

“ oh you have a lot to learn” he said handing me the book with a smile 


	9. Pseudocide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream finds tommy dead and things get... complicated :)

Tubbo pov:

I sat with him as I watched him slowly open the book. I was quite interested to see what he had written to spark tommys memory considering everything that had happened thus far in his life.

_ Dear diary, _

_ Use this to spark your memory ghost tommy _

  * _Dream is building a prison confront him when he finds your dead body_



Shit I hadn't thought that according to tommy's letter dream would be here to pick up tommy for the prison and soon 

  * _Wilbur now ghostbur started lmanburg with your friends tubbo, fundy, quackity, and eret. Eret betrayed you and is now king of the dreamsmp. You fought for freedom of lmanburg and gave up to discs, cats and melohi._



“ the discs?” he asked “ was he given those at the start of the server why were they so important?”

“ besides family and me those were his prize possession he spent years fighting dream for he ended up giving them both to dream which he never intended doing hes spent like forever trying to get them back”

“Why would you help him if he cared about the discs more than you?”

“ i i- at times it was hard to tell but i knew he loved me and he would've wanted me to help but he never let me to keep me safe now he's asked me to help which is in a way a compliment because it proved to me i am my own person”

He nodded 

  * _Jschlatt won the election as president of lmanburg and exiled me and wilbur and we started the nation pogtopia. One by one we gained in numbers and started a war in which we were informed there was a traitor and dream had joined schlatts side. Wilbur created a way to blow up lmanburg and did so during the war after techno revealed he was the traitor he spawned withers phil joined the server and took wilbur's last canon life ( everyone has 3)_



“ so ghostbur was wilbur cause i know ghostbur”

“ yeah also i should probably explain the family dynamic too. Basically Wilbur and techno were Tommy's brothers and Phil was their dad. Fundy is wilburs son and Tommy's nephew and I was adopted into the family after Phil found me on the side of the road. Me and tommy always had more of an inseparable friend bond”

“ ok it says here phil didn't join till this war thing though”

“ yeah wilbur tommy and techno all came her to the dreamsmp after they were old enough to make there own living including me too. phil didn't come to visit till that day and the first thing he did was kill wilbur”

“ why would he do that”

“ the guilt and pain wilbur had he had gone mad and begged phil to kill him and i don't know the whole story but he did it”

  * _You were president but turned it away because of the discs so wilbur gave it to tubbo_



“ so i was president”

“ yes but the discs were always a super dangerous affair him being president would have put the whole country in danger so i became president and then the whole country got blown up ghostbur helped rebuild it”

  * _You had a cow named henry his grave is at you old house_



I remember the first time I met Henry in a meadow with Tommy we would come feed him and hang out in the fields with each other… sometimes even wilbur and techno would join. Damn sapnap and his obsession with killing pets

  * _Georgenotfound is dreams best friend, maybe lover and everyone made fun of him for building a house during the war so i decided to pull a prank on him and rob him with ranboo ( a friend) and George's house got griefed. Dream found out and was pissed so he built walls around lmanburg_


  * Tubbo who you love with your life exiled you because he wanted to keep peace with dream for the sake of the nation and is a wonderful man. 



That one really struck me and for some reason I was in awe that he had written that. 

“ why did you exile him”

“ deam is super powerful. He manipulated me to do so because he wanted to tear me and Tommy apart so I would be willing to give the disc to him.”

“ you have a disc?!”

“ yeah ive had one for a while the other is with skeppy who is in a part of the server called the badlands which is basically neutral to all the politics stuff”

  * _You started logstedshire which is where you stand and took your own last canon life of of depression and sadness so you could get back to tubbo as fast as possible_



I about had a heart attack reading that line. Between the confirmation of it being suicide and him saying he did it to get back to me it was overwhelming to my senses. Why would he kill himself for me rather than in spite of me. Why?

  * _Dream is an asshole try to make his life a living hell get melohi from skeppy and put the discs in the echest_


  * Dream threatened to put you in an obsidian prison and would come and mock you 24/7 he also threatened to build the wall to sky level if tubbo didn’t exile you


  * Try to find tubbo asap


  * Also your a simp for vikkstar 



I genuinely laughed at that last one.

“ who is vikkstar?” he asked seriously

“ he's barely on the server anyway but the old you worshipped him like a god it was hilarious”

  * _Stream schedules come everyday in the mail but you can change the time in the journal to whenever yo stream_


  * Don't let the green boy win and if you do get both discs can you do me a favor and yell this simple phrase over lmanburg? “ SUCK IT GREEN BOY”


  * Ask tubbo or quackity if you have questions on anything :)



I smiled at how well written the whole thing had been. It definitely wasn't everything but it was quite close.I spent the next while filling him in on everything I could. He had trouble understanding the disc thing at first but I pulled the one I had out of the ender chest and let him hold it and it was like something clicked inside him. 

“ so the whole prison thing when is dream supposed to pick me up and what am I supposed to do”

“ I don’t know maybe follow him to the prison just surprise him that you're a ghost I’m not sure how that’s gonna work”

Suddenly I heard the nether portal 

“ TOMMY” said dream with a laugh 

“ hide” I said in a whisper. 

We snuck out and around the back of logstedshire 

“ dream I think he’s dead” said punz 

“ really if he was dead who visited him and made this goddamn flower bed?” He said 

“ get up Tommy you're not fooling anyone” 

I covered my mouth and closed my eyes to keep from screaming in turmoil. I so badly wanted to jump out and scream that he really was dead but would dream even believe me. 

Suddenly a figure swooped in from above and landed centimeters from dream face with precision 

Punz started to try to walk up to him but he put out a hand 

“ I don’t think that’s a good idea” he said to punz 

He backed up at dreams will. Techno walked circles around dream practically breathing down his neck 

“ what do you want” asked dream coldly 

“ you probably didn’t realize me and Phil were watching did you”

“ no-“

“ let me stop you there of course you didn’t you don’t realize how you make people feel so you unless you're trying to manipulate them on purpose…”

Dream laughed in response 

“ I’ll admit I don’t care about what other people feel very much either. I can destroy a whole government with no remorse but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for anyone…”

“ ha who would  _ the blade  _ care for… Tommy? I care for him more than you do”

“ heh??? I’m going to ignore that lie of a statement if you call caring for Tommy manipulating him and watching him die”

“ first of all I REFUSE to believe he’s dead he plays games and he would get you to be on his side wouldn’t he”

“ you idiot” he said putting the sword to his neck “ your testing me”

He removed the knife

“ Tommy is dead Phil is broken tubbo is crushed, my family is broken… I could deal with Wilbur because he did it to himself but Tommy. HE WAS A CHILD.he did what break a block on your boyfriends house”

“ don't you dare bring George into this! He just so happens to be my best friend who I would die for. they also robbed him so yeah sure i have biased or whatever i just care about the people i love unlike you”

Techno froze struck by the hurtful words 

“You know what no! I LOVE TOMMY, I LOVE WILBUR, I LOVE PHIL, AND YOU KNOW WHAT MAYBE EVEN TUBBO and lets be real that's being generous you really think you can manipulate me HA” 

“ that was rude” tubbo whispered at me 

“ I love them as people, not what they stand for and most definitely not the politics they affiliate themselves with. I don't stand by their side. I stand alone but i will fight when the time comes. Technoblade never dies”

“ what are we gonna do?” Whispered tubbo 

“ let’s wait for them to stop fighting first” o whispered back 

“ I DON'T BELIEVE YOU” 

“ the part about me never dieing or…”

“YOUR TESTING MY PATIENCE! You still owe me a favor so do me a favor and get out of my way”

“ that seems like a bit of a waste”

“ techno LISTEN! I am taking him to the prison i don't care what your plan is”

“ fine take him to the prison but don’t say I told you so”

“ help me lift him” said dream to punz 

“ what we can’t carry him all the way to the prison”

“ I WANT YOUR HEAD IN A PLATTER DREAM” techno yelled with a laugh as dream wheeled away tommy “ YOUR A DEAD MAN”

Somehow they put him on a cart and wheeled him away 

Techno looked out on the water his braid blowing in the breeze 

“ techno we can’t pick this fight just us who’s gonna fight by our side” said Phil from one of the trees above us 

“ I know I know” said techno “ help me do chaos Phil help me get revenge.”

“ ...I fought by your side after will and now Tommy is dead because I was too busy fighting with you instead of taking care and protecting him I can’t do that and you know it!”

“ phil i'm the last one alive and youll leave me when i've lost them too”

“ your technoblade you never die you were the one person i didn't need to help but because i decided to help you EVERYONE i love is dead... don't you feel an ounce of guilt”

“ why would i?”

“ listen i know you like to blow up shit to get your rage out but i'm done with you blowing up the shit that matter like our family”

“ are you blaming this on me phil!”

There was silence 

“Phil listen will made a government and it backfired because he couldn't control it and he asked me to come help him destroy what he created. Tommy and tubbo were to young to understand which is why the country lived on and then it's just ended up being the disc war but it all links to lmanburg dream was just trying to keep everyone united and keep control but he went way too far with tommy”

Phil nodded

“ i your right i just don't want to fight anymore i can't risk losing you too please techno”

Tubbo walked out from under the trees looking at techno and then up at Phil 

“ you won’t fight alone” said tubbo 

“ tubbo what are you doing here” 

“ Wilbur isn’t the only one who has a ghost”

“ wait” they said 

I walked out beside tubbo looking at the two unfamiliar faces 

“ oh my god Tommy!” Said Phil swooping down engulfing me in a hug

“ hi dad hi techno” 

“ tubbo why are you here, how does? How does Tommy remember us-“

“ because Tommy wasn’t stupid he left a memory boom that covered everything that’s why I’m here I can’t be President cause I’m helping Tommy get the discs back”

“ wait so he remembers everything”

“ close to it he has to confront dream though about him actually being dead it’s in the book”

“ Tommy listen to be follow him to the prison go inside and scare the crap out of him confront him about everything and say your getting the discs back then meet us at my house here I’ll give you the compass” said techno before pulling a compass out of his bag and handing it to me

“ anything for the blade” I said with a smile 

“ and Phil tubbo was asked to look after you two by Tommy I would trust him if I were you”

Phil nodded before straightening his bucket hat

“ tubbo come with had you have some explaining to do” says Phil 

“ I’ll see you later Tommy” he said before hugging me around my waist

“ I’ll be fine I’m already a ghost dreams got nothing on me no need to be clingy” I said 

tubbo laughed as I started on my journey following dream. I headed through the nether portal seeing dream in the distance yelling at punz and trying to follow close behind. The heat of the nether was awe sweltering in tubbos sweater but I made due. I climbed a pillar of blackstone watching them attempt to cart the body over pockets of lava and blackstone. I could see the portal in the distance.

Dream snapped his head to punz who set down his side of the cart sweating.

“ you think we have time he could just wake up and run right out of here if we’re not careful” said dream his mask falling on the cart from whipping his head so fast revealing a scar down his face and his glassy flaming green eyes shown an angry glare 

“ this is ridiculous. We are carting a dead body to a prison where he won’t be able to set his spawn cause he’s dead. When will you be satisfied dream! Phil was broken back there techno is threatening your life have you ever even asked yourself what your doing to this server to our lives dream! I’m exhausted overworked and underpaid and yet I’m here because you manipulated me to not be neutral” 

“ this is a reminder you work for me punz I wouldn’t talk back so much”

With that they picked up the cart and began going again, dreams cold evil eyes piercing through the orange of the nether his mask slid past the body and down the cart onto the cobble with a thud. I picked it up as they vanished in nether portal I slowly waited a minute before heading through the portal 

Things were different… now that I knew.. now that I cared. I watched as dream screamed at Tommy to get up, more nervous in his tone each time he asked. Somewhere on his subconscious he probably knew. But if he didn’t he was about to. I watched as they lowered him into the prison from the top. They were now in a small chamber with the security cameras. I phased in the building by the front door to distract punz. 

The alarms went off. They were ear ringing. Sam and punz looked around in panic at the cameras.

“ Look where the alarms went off there’s nothing” I phased from room to room as they panicked seeing me flash from room to room. 

“ I think someone followed us through the nether they have your mask” says punz 

“ they what?” Said dream realizing he wasn’t wearing it

they carted the body into the cell as Sam stood by keeping watch. Sam turned a blind eye. And I phased in writing in one of the books you're not safe. Sam heard as I phased out catching a glimpse. I watched as he ran over to the book.

“ guys!” He screamed 

Punz ran over leaving dream in the prison cell alone 

“ we’re not safe here someone is here and the procedures aren’t working because they can phase through the walls”

The alarms stopped for a brief moment 

“ I think we’re good” said punz 

I phased through the wall materializing in front of their eyes. 

“ I wouldn’t be so sure” I said slyly swinging my sword through my fingertips 

“ who stands here before us?” said Sam, trying to be serious but voice shaking.

dream stared at me from the cell across the bridge. 

“ your voice sounds oddly familiar” said punz 

“ you're under arrest, you're not allowed to be here” said Sam before grabbing at my wrist watching as his hands went through me.

“ what are you” said punz 

Sam and punz stepped aside as I walked towards dream.

“ I don’t know who you are but I’m gonna have to ask you to leave now” said dream 

“ But why? you used to have so much fun with me.. I thought we were friends” 

Dreams mannerisms shifted almost immediately as the words left my tongue 

“ UNTIL YOU KILLED ME” I said ripped off the mask throwing it at him 

“ t Tommy” 

“ we’re not finished dream I’m getting those discs for myself for my family I’m already halfway there and you're here carting my deceased body into a prison”

“ but how do you remember how are you here”

“ Tommy before he committed suicide thanks to you keeping him from living wrote a memory book and let me say I don’t know everything about my past life but I know enough to know I don’t like you”

He was speechless 

“ it’s going to be a lot easier for me to get the disc considering I can phase through walls and have all the pity. One request bring the body back to logstedshire before dawn tomorrow” 

“ I-“ he started 

“ a zip it all I’m gonna say is you better start preparing because for once I’m one step in front of you” I said 

He looked at me dumbfounded pale as if he’d just seen a ghost. his eyes were no longer flaming. I walked away from the cell back 

“ Tommy you're not getting away that easy” he said changing his demeanor now angry the flame restored to his conscious

“ I can literally phase through walls” I said before laughing 

“ I can kill tubbo” he said 

I froze 

“ what good would that do he’s just a friend he has nothing you want he doesn’t have the disc anymore I do” I said lying to protect tubbo 

“ you think your so clever” he said before evil laughing “ I’ll return the body but I ask to recall badboyhalo doesn’t like you very much therefore neither would skeppy” 

“ what?”

“ just wait till you get languages by bad he won’t give you the disc in a million years”

“ oh I will and there’s nothing you and you too prison goons can do to stop me” 

“ you’re dead tommy innit I’m gonna kill you” 

“ you already did moron” I said with a laugh “ bye dream” 

With that I phased through the walls exiting the prison. I looked up as he watched me leave a green cloak blowing in the wind and the mask on green light shining through the eye holes. He held a netherite sword in his hand. His deep breath could be heard from my standing as he hugged angrily. He let out a piercing scream as I left this world behind into the shrill heat of the nether.

I pulled out the compass from my bags running as fast as I could to the nether portal things beginning to look familiar now after some time. I went through the portal to logstedshire running as fast as I could to technos. A little ghost like me barely understood he had just started the next world war but confronting dream like that.. boy did it feel good.


	10. Sleepy Incorporated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phantommy arrives at techno house and tubbo goes on the journey to the house with the fam while they wait. 
> 
> A/N: SBI CONTENT FOR THE SOUL

Finally I arrived at the building I assumed to be technos home. 

“Up here” said tubbo from the upstairs window 

I smiled looking up at him and waving. Running up the stairs to meet them in the house.

About and hour prior 

Tubbo pov.

“ tubbo how did? How are you?” asked phil

“ not great phantommy has started to pick up more of tommys mannerisms and what he was like but it's just not the same i really miss him”

Phil gave me a hug

“ i should've been there for you too, you're a part of this family tubbo”

I nodded

“ here come in the caravan i want to show you something”

They followed me in the caravan which had been warmed with sunlight. Phil looked around taking in the place.

“ why is there a bee in here?” said techno confused

“ sorry its tommys i carried him in here earlier when me and tommy were in here it's his” i said letting it outside and giving it a flower 

“ tubboat?” said phil “ he named it tubboat?” 

“ i'll explain that later”

“ oh my god.” said phil in a whisper picking up the disc

“ he… he put it on his body before he died with a note” i said

“ i haven't seen this in years tubbo i didn't even know tommy had it”

“ i didn't either. Listening to it i couldn't believe how attached to it he was”

“ what are we talking about?” said techno laying on the bed 

Phil leaned over showing him the disc

“ isnt that that dumb disc you played when you were kids”

“ oh you shut your mouth techno i dont care if you dont like it but you dont have to be fucking rude” i said

There's silence as i calm down techno staring at me blankly tensing up 

“ sorry” i whispered

“ no no i'm sorry” i said

“ what'd the note say?” asked phil

I pulled out the book and opened watching the note fall to the ground like a feather. I kneeled down picking it up.

“ i um you can read it” i said handing it to phil 

“ _ Dear tubbo, _

_ I don't know if you remember when we were kids and brought you into the family. You used to love being outside with the bees and Phil would always try to make you happy. He bought this custom record and used to play it to keep you calm and happy and i always liked it because the lyrics were always something i related to in our friendship. i kept the disc after i made my own home back in lmanburg. i played it for you just once the night you became president to calm you down and help you sleep. The song belongs to you now. Also i know i never truly got to say goodbye the letter i gave you wasn't specific to anything and you deserve more. I know you're probably in pain right now but just listen. Phantommy can phase through walls and yeah it may not seem like he can remember but i left a book in the trailer that contains the most important contents of my life in terms of memories all written down so he knows everything. Help him get the discs back please for me. I don't know if i'll ever see you again but i probably miss you like hell wherever i am. Please take care of phil and techno for me too. I hope you're doing good my honeybee… _

_ Love, Tommy _

_ Disc- HONEYBEE) steam powered giraffe”  _ phil read out trying not to break down as the words invaded his thought brewing that yearn to go back and redo everything he'd done wrong.

There was silence as I sat at the end of the bed as I turned to face techno.

“ techno i know you want to but you can't kill dream”

“ WHY NOT?!” 

“ because techno, dream is my only chance at getting the real tommy back I wouldn't be surprised if he had that power and tommy needs to get the last disc so he can't die”

“ ehh” said techno 

“ ok i want to help you tubbo” said phil

Techno got up and started walking up 

“ my house, things to do”

“ ah!” we all screamed seeing a figure appear in the caravan 

“ sorry i thought now would be a good time to pop in do you want some blue”said ghostbur 

“Jesus christ you scared me” exclaimed phil

“Sorry I haven’t been around much I just I’m not Wilbur I’ve been having a bit of an identity crisis

But I have friend and some blue and that’s enough for me. How is phantommy”

“ good he's with dream” says Phil 

“ oh good so you’ve met him” he says handing me some blue I gladly take 

“ t tubbo how are you I know you and Tommy were friends”

“ i I don’t really want to go through this again not great but I’m ok”

He nods 

“ can we get going I have things to do” says techno shifting as he moves his caps over his shoulder impatiently

“ I agree this place is too much for me”

“ yeah..” agreed phil “ you coming with us ghostbur” 

Techno starts using he trident to get to his house since we insisted on not taking the nether so we could all talk 

“ techno come back here we’re trying to talk” said Phil loudly 

“ why do I have to be here I don’t understand any of this one bit for example why phantommy with dream in a prison alone”

“ YOUR THE ONE WHO TOLD HIM TO GO THERE” I said angrily “ do you even know how these ghost beings operate?”

“ guys stop” said Phil giving each of us a stern glare 

“ so how do these ghost beings work then” 

“ well they don’t remember anything. They can phase through walls and materialize as much as they like whenever they like and carry some of the positive mannerisms of their old host, none of the negative. They also can’t touch water or they burn” 

“ why is that kinda op in some aspects anyway”

“ oh!” said ghostbur before we heard a loud thud

I turned around to see him on the ground on a patch of ice blue scattered around him

“ are you ok” i asked

“ yeah i just slipped” he said

I helped him pick up the blue but as soon as i touched each peace they all turned blue

“ tubbo…”

I could tell Wilbur was concerned but honestly what did anyone expect? I lost the thing that mattered most to me and yeah I've gotten down to the point where i lose my will to live but i have more important things to worry about. I've cried enough

“ maybe you should uh clean that uh”

“ here ill help “said phil he grabbed a piece of blue turning it blue slowly 

“ do you need some blue take it guys please”

“ i im ok” i said

“ no your not” said phil “ i've gotten through this before but you need it”

“ i'm just sick of crying”

“ then get your sadness out in another way” said ghostbur holding out a stack of blue

I took it turning it all blue and FAST

“That's not normal…” said ghostbur 

“I feel better now i mean tommy said he used to go through a stack of blue or more each day”

“ yeah but not in one second”

“I'll be fine!” i said getting aggravated now

We continued walking in silence for a moment

“ that definitely wasn't the way to go about seeing tommy's dead body for the first time” said techno holding a half filled up piece of blue

“That pink color he had, what moron wouldn't think he was dead? He looked terrible” said phil kicking a piece of ice

“Ha he looked my shade and im a pig!” joked techno

“ that's not funny” i said blatantly 

“ jeez sorry to offend his presidency”

“ i'm sorry i'm just… upset motivated to help phantommy but upset and worried… god are we almost there its freezing”

“ yeah just over this hill”

We stopped at the village warming up 

“ im so excited to see your home! To see friend” said ghostbur

He was a little too excited and happy for our depressed grieving states to handle his optimism but we made do and in a way it helped.

Finally we came across technos house in the distance

“ make yourselves at home upstairs i'll meet you there i've gotta take care of a couple things” he said

“ ok” said phil showing us upstairs as techno headed downstairs

“ so tubbo how was being president”

“ awful… I hated it. I don't like what being a president does to a person. It's terrible. I don't like it and wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I don't know if I like the idea of standing for a national fight and being a part of something but it's a lot of pressure when you're the one leading. I keep thinking what would Wilbur do but I don't even know anymore… i want to make a new nation of my own far away and start over but- i don't want to fight anymore”

“ couldn't you just make a piece of land and call it a name without deemeing it a nation” said ghostbur

“ like the badland? I mean i guess but like i said i like having something to fight for but i don't want to fight”

“Then why did you say we wouldn't be alone fighting?”   
“ because i want to kill dream with my cold bear hands but he has a lot of power for your sake i don't want to die” i said in a whisper “ I’m scared”

“ ah tuffin up and fight sittin back is lame, unless your preparing then its valid” says techno climbing up the ladder

“ can you guys promise to protect me if we go in to battle”

“ i promise” says phil

“ i promise” says ghostbur

“ techno…” says phil

“ i cant…”

“ why not”

“ look i promise to protect you under normal circumstances but i owe dream a favor if he asks me to act on that favor i have to”

I nod before smiling

“ i thought he used he used up your favor moving out of the way”

“ all jokes aside dream is an egotistical power house”

“ so what are we here to talk about”

“ plans… war”

“ oooo im liking the sound of this”

I roll my eyes

“ how many withers we need i'm ready for revolution boys”

“Now calm down for a minute” says phil

i hear a crunch in the snow outside and turn to look out the window seeing tommy approaching the house

“ up here!” i said smiling 

“ dont just-” starts techno

“ what its just phantommy”

Phantommy pov

I sat down inside wrapping a blanket around me sitting next to phil 

“ how'd things go with dream”asked tubbo

“Good i scared him shitless and then got into a yelling argument with him”

“ he actually got scared i'm surprised”

“ well he dropped his mask in the nether while yelling at punz so i took it and wore it which freaked them all out”

“ You wore a dream mask?!” said tubbo

“Can we get back to war this is boring i don't have all day” said techno

“Ok for starters we can't just fight the four of us”

“ i should be able to get lmanburg im hoping but this is about more than war”

“ what do you mean”

“ well for starters the badlands have the other disc not dream it's a matter of convincing them-”

“- and they never liked tommy..”

“ dream mentioned that, i don't think we have much time before he ends up with the disc”

“ we also have his funeral in like 7 days at lmanburg and no one knows he's back as a ghost”

“ why wouldn't you just tell people”

“ Well it gives us more pity from the people for now we will tell them obviously but… i want to get the badlands to the funeral but not dream”

“ i just want to cause chaos what are we doing?”

“ how about this i tell quackity to get the badlands to go to the funeral without telling dream but we need to give them an ultimatum for the disc”

“ i know they wanted more land”

“ quackity told me about the land that ask for and its far too much they'll refuse to setting for less they refused quackity”

“ what if i just threatened them with withers?”

“ what do you mean??”

“ Think about it, they'll be at the funeral. I'll just go there and tell them I'm there and all their land will be gone if they don't give the disc?”

“ that's an option but i don't really want to start a war”

“ sometimes you have to start a war to gain peace”

I felt myself drifting off to sleep. Tubbos eyes were also falling which seemed reasonable since we both had not slept

Suddenly something flashed infront of my eyes as I heard an enderman. I looked up at all of us completely silent, seeing ranboo stand in the middle of the room.

“ that's not normal” said techno

“ ranboo?” said tubbo

It looked like he was in a daze

He started speaking enderman

“ haha guys” said Phil worried 

“ what the hell” I said 

“ ranboo snap out of it” said tubbo 

“ wait can somone translate what he said” asked techno 

“ yeah he said can’t always keep a smile” said ghostbur

“ you know enderman?”

“ yeah there was a book written in enderman I found once I think as ghosts we can translate any language might just be me”

“ no I understood too but what does that mean”

There’s silence 

“ dream…” said tubbo

“ what” said techno 

“ dream is a literal green smile do you think that’s a coincidence”

“ you think they’re connected” asked Phil 

“ I don’t know” said tubbo

Ranboo looked around at everyone before collapsing to the ground 

“ ranboo?” I questioned 

“ how did I end up here” he said eyes fluttering open looking at us all 

“ you don’t remember anything?” Asked ghostbur shifting his tone quickly 

“ no should I have?”

“ how often do you wake up in a place not home” 

“ um- actually like a lot now that you mention it”

“ ok that’s not good at all” says ghostbur 

“ ok ranboo I would watch out something weird is happening?”

“ what happened how did I end up here!” He asks again not more aggravated 

“ you just teleported in and started speaking enderman…” said Phil quietly 

“ I i I what-“ he said “ here one second I have to go check on something don’t worry I’m fine” he said running out the door

“ what the hell” said tubbo 

My eyes starting closing again my exhaustion over taking me 

“ techno they're falling asleep we should get to bed”

Me, tubbo, and will all laid down in a line falling asleep. I felt as phil tucked me in

“ goodnight” he whispered after a few minutes

“ tommy?” i heard 

“Mm”

“ tommy??” i heard whispered a bit louder

“ what?” i said trying to gain consciousness

“ listen to me this is important i cam eback cause i need you” he whispered

“Hmm why” i said opening my eyes to the dark room”

“Weird things were happening up there tommy a bunch of greyscale ranboos where roaming around and weird things have been happening like sounds and stuff do you remember what did tommy have on him when you first grabbed the body?”

I tried to recall 

“I uhh i think it was a…. Compass?” i said genuinely unsure

“ ok tommy you have to go back up for a bit your starting to forget”

“ but i have to help these guys prepare”

“ trust me it's more important you have to come back up” 

“ fine we leave in the morning” i sighed too tired to deal with that at the moment my mind began racing about ranboo and theories as to what was happening

“ guys” said Phil “ time to get up”

I opened my eyes to see Wilbur passed out to my right and tubbo clinging on to me to my left.

“ wake up guys” I said through a yawn 

“ I told fundy, quackity, and Niki we’d meet at noon and it’s 11:00 right now” said Phil 

Tubbo opened his eyes before stretching hitting me in the face 

“ ow!” 

“ sorry” he said realizing what he’d done 

“ I’m excited to go home today and see everyone” 

“ how are we planning on hiding phantommy”

“ I figured we can get to the caravan without anyone seeing it shouldn’t be to difficult”

Ghostbur gave me a look which reminded me we were leaving today 

“ uh actually me and ghostbur have some personal stuff to take care of we’re gonna have to go for a bit” 

“no don’t leave me again” said Tubbo

My heart broke hearing that I was all of the alive me he had left 

“ I’ll be back I promise” I said 

“ ok” 

“ sound good we’ll be in lmanburg” said Phil 

“ question how many withere do you think like 10 or 15”

“ techno!” I said 

“ what!” He said 

“ bring 10 but do do any unless I say so” says tubbo” 

“ ok me and Tommy will be on our way” said ghostbur “ would you like any blue before I leave?”

“ why not” said Phil 

Ghostbur distributed it among them as I sat they’re my head filled with emotions clouding my better judgement i so badly wanted to be like Tommy but I wasn’t I was just the ghost of his past and what’s left of his future 

My body wasn’t the only thing in the inbetween so was my mind.


	11. Travelers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt very motivated to write after Tommy's stream today. i cant believe ghost innit is gonna be a real thing. hopefully this story wont be deterred depending on what direction they go

The same white walls regal and prestigious gave me comfort as I stepped inside. Ghostburs nerves made it a bit more unsettling than previously though. I don’t quite understand what he's worried about or why I’m here. I want help tubbo and as much as I know I have to, I don’t want to explore this place. 

“ let’s head back to the courtyard and chill I have some empty books you could write what you’ve done so far in just to help memory and stuff” 

“ ok” I said 

We arrived and I just hung out by the tree. I wanted to go back I didn’t want to be here as beautiful as it was I made a family down there I didn’t want to leave 

“ I I’m gonna go take a walk” 

“ sounds good”

I wandered around the far too large castle in search for answers of why I was here. I mean I figured since I was here I should do what I came here for. I started my way down the pearly white trail. this was like the wizard of oz if the inbetween was over rainbow and the path was white instead. I mean there was no wicked witch of the west or at least I hoped there wasn’t. I approached what had to be the biggest tree in the entire place. 

I wandered hoping to find a book or something useful before remembering I had left a book on the courtyard from last time. Oh well, I’d go back in a while. I hopped over the moat surrounding the tree and explored underneath till I saw a book 

_ I’ve lost people before… don’t be like me  _

_ write down your memories under a tree  _

_ Maybe one day you’ll see them again and you won’t forget until then patience is a virtue  _

I sighed placing the book back 

I traveled down the path towards one of the castle's turrets, the view was extraordinary, filled with orange and pink clouds. A book laid upon the windowsill 

_ The view here seems to make up for lost time down there. I don’t know how much it helps but it’s nice to be here  _

I continued down to the great hall again. It appeared to be the same as the first time I was there, no new books or anything however I did notice a witherrose in place of the fern. I turned around about to head back to the courtyard until suddenly I heard something… I felt.. a presence. I turned around 

“Sammy?” He questioned 

What. His body was intact he seemed confused but.. something was off. How could he have died. Why would he look at me and say Sammy something was not right at all.

“ k Karl??” I said 

“ Sammy?” He said again as if in a trance 

“ I’m Tommy?” I said “... who’s Sammy?”

“ Tommy? That sounds familiar” he said “ were you in the present day??”

What?

“ what?? What do you mean present day” i asked 

“ how do you know me”

“ I’m Tommy or Tommy’s ghost” 

“ Tommy there’s a bunch of greyscale…. Karl’s” said ghostbur before seeing him standing there 

Suddenly it clicked I still didn’t quite understand if he was a ghost or not but he had lost his memory that’s why… maybe just maybe.. Did Karl write the books?

“ Karl” 

“ they said it’d be the last time I could go home, that I’d be stuck here”

“ what?!” I said 

“ Karl tell us what you remember” I said 

“ I remember the past, the places I’ve visited.. the people… james, jack kanoff, learia , micheal, dream. The places like the beach,the city of mizu, the town that never was, the Wild West, the mansion, and the haunted mansion. And something like a faint memory of love. Love of two people that I think we're close to me but I … I can’t seem to… I can’t seem to recall their names.”

“ What do you mean the past?”

“ one day I traveled to the past each time I forgot more and more and I started coming here each time and ended up at the library but this time they said I couldn’t go back”

“ Tommy” said ghostbur 

“ wait you mentioned dream”

“ yeah someone said something about dream at.. mizu I think it was”

“ do you remember a place called lmanburg?” 

“ no? What’s that?”

“ we’re gonna have to help him” said ghostbur in disbelief

I nodded 

“ follow us” 

We arrived at the courtyard confused and trying to process things 

“ let me get this straight you can time travel to the past” I said 

“ y yeah “ he said 

“ we we should explore” said ghostbur”

“ the more we find the better”

“ maybe we should start at the bottom and work our way up”

“ I’m pretty sure this the lowest level”said ghostbur 

“ there’s a basement I saw stairs earlier”

“ ok lets go”

Meanwhile…

“ i wonder how tommmys doing” i said adjusting my green shirt tucking it in as i got ready to go

“I don't know we're gonna be late,” said phil “ techno!”

“ what?!” he scowled fixing the button on his cape as he searched for a potion with his free hand

“ ok i'm ready” i said

“ some blue for the road? ” asked phil

I took a piece watching it turn blue immediately but i continued to just hold it as we walked out”

“ cmon” said phil annoyed with techno taking so long

“ sorry im trying to find a strength pot im down one”

“ you don't need a strength pot were meeting with frickin fundy and quackity”said phil with a laugh 

“I won't be unprepared on my watch” he said pulling out the potion before running a finger on his tusk mischievously

We embarked on our way to the portal and back to home. I hoped lmanburg was well. Finally we reached the archway this time free of punz and dreams goons which was nice.

Techno pulled out his sword twirling it between his fingertips with ease 

Finally we approached the entrance to lmanburg

“ hello theseus i'm home” said techno, orphan obliterator slung over his shoulder 

“ techno!” i said shocked by his phrasing 

“ sorry.. You know that really sounded better in my head and then i realized it just didn't make sense”

“Tubbo!” said quackity running over “ … and phil and techno”

“ did he not mention i was coming” said techno 

“ they're joining in on the meeting and discussing with us”

“ oh uh ok niki is working on paperwork in the caravan we can go meet her there”

Fundy and quackity walked in first followed my me

“ Tubbo your back i'm so glad you're here” she said “ and phil and techno hi!”

We settled down into our seating arrangements 

“ so i'll start out me, phil, tommy, techno, and ghostbur talked over the plan last night we want to run it by you and get your thoughts and were hoping its to your satisfaction” i stated

“ wait… t tommy, ghostbur??” said niki

Shit

“ does she not know jesus christ” said techno 

“ i um niki this is uh not how you should be finding out but tommy and wilbur are both back as ghosts we haven't told anyone about tommy though so please keep it under wraps” said phil

“ oh that's awesome, can I see will?”

“ niki… ghostburs been here since he died he rebuilt lmanburg”

“ what?? Then why did he never.. Visit me??” she said heartbroken

We were silent none of us had any idea she had no clue about ghostbur

She started to tear up and run out 

“ wait” i said stopping her “ niki its not your fault the ghosts don't remember anything ghostbur and phantommy remembered nothing please you've got to believe me”

“ i i should go i don't want to- i can't”

“ niki please! I LOST TOMMY FOR GOD'S SAKE HE WAS MY EVERYTHING! I said starting to tear up

“ niki i'm trying to do all i can to help phantommy shostbur is trying to help phantommy and by getting those discs we might help both of them” i said “ i- i didn't want to say anything yet because i don't want to get anyones hopes up but we might be able to figure out how to revive them IF we play our cards right if we have a plan”

“ or the nation will end with a lack of out own accord” said fundy 

“ what can i do to help” said niki 

“ well quackity my first task is for you, i need you to get the badlands to attend tommys funeral and make sure dream isn't there”

“ i- i cant im sorry I have a prior obligation. I just don't if i can..”

“ this is why i didn't make you president”

“ tubbo what if we lose if we join you and lose we lose everything. Were the presidents now you have to convince us you can't just go around giving orders'' said fundy 

I was silent hurt by it

“ god government this is why you all suck” said techno 

That was the last straw in keeping myself together 

“ I LOST EVERYTHING! IF YOU WANT TO BE SELFISH GO AHEAD THERES THE DOOR BUT I HATE MY LIFE YOU SEE THIS EMPTY PIECE OF BLUE OF SUDDENLY IT'S BLUE YOU SEE THIS STACK OF BLUE OF SUDDENLY IT'S ALL BLUE…” i start “I WANT TO DIE I HATE EVERYTHING I HAVE NO WILL TO LIVE EXCEPT PHANTOMMY IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO HELP HIM I DIE OK AND I DON'T MEAN FIGURATIVELY”

“ you cant just threaten us with suicide thats not fair” said fundy

“ you lost your own father fundy your father and your mother is a fucking salmon you didnt learn how to grow up i bet you still wih you could get him back or have more time with him. Do you really want to throw away your chance to maybe just see him again… i'm willing to die for tommy cause i have nothing else to live for i was president of this nation i didn't want to give you power i want this over with please im begging you” i said through sobs 

Fundy had started crying as well.

“Tubbo… i couldn't help because mexican lmanburg is gone and we started a new place called kinoko kingdoms in a hidden spot with the same people and i promised id help them if i can spend time there i can get there support”

“ im sorry quackity”

“ its ok”

“ niki could you?” 

“ sure” she said still crying as well

“ jesus can we stop the sob story and get to planning i don't have all day” said techno 

“ while there at the funeral ill give them and ultimatum for the disc whie techno is on there land with withers”

“What! that's insane!” said fundy “ that'll put lmanburg at war”

“ fundy either way we're going to war lmanburg will never be peaceful-”

“ because its a government-” said techno

“No, because its not wanted by powerful people that won't stop till its gone that's why being a president changed you because you want to be the one to finally make it safe but its hard and near impossible fundy sometimes you have to start wars to gain peace

“I for one wouldnt mind i mean badboyhalo is stupid he never swears instead he goes give me dunder head you your such a potato and my ugly dog rat is the most precious thing”

“We can't get on bads bad side considering skeppy has the disc if we get too much on his bad side they'll just give it to dream”

“Tubbos right it's risky but we don't have much choice if we can keep phantommy under wraps we get pity and hopefully we'll get enough from the badlands to consider giving us the disc”

“ ok then we have a plan” said fundy holding his hand out

I took his hand as we shook on it

“See government isn't that bad” i say turning to techno 

“ i'm going to puke on your face” he said blatantly

“ i'll do a town meeting after the funeral to rally everyone”

“ ok let us know what else you need”

“You guys should just prepare as much as you can for war to be prepared”

“Ok

Back up yonder

Phantommy:

“ we've been exploring for hour can we take a break”asked karl

“ karl you have to remember” said ghostbur “ this is super important”

“ i'm exhausted. I just traveled to the past and spent the last 2 hour roaming around the castle and we still haven't even got above the basement you nimrods! You must be yanking my strings!” he said

“ maybe we should take a break it's been a long day and we found at least 15 books”

“Fine this is the last room” said ghostbur messing with the lock “ its locked-”

“ well time to go back and take a nap-” i said through a yawn

“ Does anyone have a bobby pin?!” asked ghosbur

“ um yes actually” said karl reaching into his pockets before handing him one

I looked in disgust who just had bobby pins ar random

“Dang it i cant get it” he said still struggling

“Oh jesus christ let me see that” i said before twisting it faintly and pressing it in hearing click

I opened the door revealing a prison with the prison cells labeled traveler 1, 2, 3. Even in the dungeon the walls were made of white brick

I ran my hand against the metal bars before stopping dead in my tracts

“ ghostbur” i said quietly in shock 

He took a deep inhale as his eyes landed upon the sight before me 

“ ranboo!” he said in shock

There in front of us was ranboo sleeping on a bed his room had a black cat, parrot , some ender pearls,posters, and a bookshelf. He twitched in his sleep as though he was in discomfort. I was so busy staring at his body I hadn't realized he was quite literally floating in a cloud of green and red that was thundering and flashing to yellow and purple. It was the oddest thing. Suddenly he shot up, falling on the bed, his eyes purple and yellow and skin more white than black. We all flinched.

“AH” screamed karl

“ ranboo?” asked ghostbur”

He started walking up before grabbing on the metal bars he sounded like a angry enderman and it was scary as fuck but then he spoke.

“Help me” he said in enderman 

And just like that he tried to teleport away but was stuck in the room

“ ranboo it ok you’re ok” i said 

He fell on the bed

“ what the-” said karl 

Suddenly they heard him get up

“ k karl, ranboo, t tommy?!” he said in shock 

“ i- why are you here? I've been here before but why am I here? I thought it was a dream. Am I dreaming?“

“ i don't know we've spent all day trying to figure out why karl is here” said ghostbur grabbing the lever and unlocking the cell door letting him walk free

“ do you remember everything?”

“ yeah i uh keep memory books. Wait, these are my memory books?!” he said looking at the bookshelf”

I don't think this is a normal afterlife; everyone here minds here is stuck in the inbetween. how much is it gonna take to break free and remember. I just wanted to help tubbo i've been alive for like 30 sum hours and this is already the most complicated things have ever been


	12. Belonging Beloved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy and the " travlers" get acquainted and he has a breakdown. shorter chapter :). MY OLD WRITING STYLE FROM BEGINNING STARTS TO MAKE A RETURN THIS CHAPTER!!! TW/: Panic attacks

“ I just realized these cells say travelers on them” said ghostbur 

Karl had begun wandering down to the next cell 

“ my library!” He said excited 

I peered into the next cell sure enough there was a yellow bookshelf, a bed with Karl’s swirl design on the sheets, and a picture of a mushroom town. 

Karl stepped inside and we watched as the speaker by his bed began to play turn back time 

“ why would Karl’s cell door have been opened if ranboo was locked inside”

“ I don’t know” I said “ I don’t know if I can do this I just want to go help tubbo please” 

“ we should help ranboo first you can go down for a little bit but you really have to spend more time up here as much as you don’t want to”

“ ugh fine” 

“ ranboo are you ok?” Asked ghostbur 

“ yeah I’m just confused and in my head”

“ ranboo have you ever time traveled?”

“ no why?”

“ I because Karl has and all these cells are marked traveler”

“ ranboo have you ever remembered teleporting?” Asked ghostbur 

“ no why are you asking so many questions?” he said beginning to feel paranoid 

“ I’m sorry… Last question?”

Ranboo nodded 

“ what’s the last thing you remember before you ended up here?”

“Seeing a message someone showed me I think it was sapnap he said he wanted to tell me something dream had said”

Suddenly Karl’s head whipped around 

“ that name sounds familiar” he said 

“ you guys live together what do you mean?” Said ranboo

“ he has barely any memory”

“ but he has a library” said ranboo

“ I know but there something different between you two your both travelers but there’s nothing similar” said a ghostbur 

“ wait what if teleportation counts as a form of traveling in the present”

“ that would mean we have present and past but there’s a third cell-“ said ranboo 

We ran over but the cell was completely empty door open with not even a bed or any type of furniture 

“ ranboo do you remember what the message was?”

“ no”

“ think” I said 

“ I uhhhh I it was…. I can’t remember”

“ it’s ok we should go explore for a little while longer than call it a day we should eat and chill for a bit”

“ ghostbur can I talk to you alone for a second” once we exit the room with the cells to a much large white room

“ uhh sure” he said as we climbed up the stair all together eventually making it back to the main floor

We walked a little ways away from the two

“ hear me out I think whoever wrote the books is the third traveler which means if we can find them we can figure out how to get there memory back”

“ Tommy how would we ever find the person they’re not just gonna come out and say they can travel i think we should focus on using the logical solution to help them” 

I nod 

Ghostbur started to walk away and join the others 

I started to question things. Was there ever a time on the server where people had happiness on the server? When it was simple and not so… complex? I’d been alive for two days and it was so overwhelming like every character on this entire server, up here, or down and alive had something crazy going on, something completely different than someone else’s niche and yeah some of them went together but others.. others didn’t even know others were going through anything.

It appeared to me as though tubbo used to not be very socially aware and more or less oblivious to things but now I may argue he’s one of the most self conscious people on the server and I thought down there was complicated but now… there’s greyscale Karl’s and ranboos running around people can teleport and I have no clue who Karl or Ranboo barely are!

I want to save everyone and help everything but maybe….

… maybe not everyone can be saved, maybe that’s why I died. I was so busy saving everyone else's ass, trying to please everyone, I never worried about saving myself.

Of course how could I possibly know I’m just a ghost… I could be completely wrong and how would I ever even know. I had no memory either. Ghostbur had become so prioritized in helping them I feel like he forgot I don’t remember anything either.

I’m lost and I want to scream for help and run into Tubbos arms because he’s the only one I trust right now but I feel lonely like I don’t know anyone, like I don’t belong. Did alive me ever belong? I heard of Tommy being exiled by tubbo did he not even think I belonged. 

I just felt so confused and wanted to do this plan but it felt like I was helping a story I had no part in. It was all moving scary fast and I needed to just breathe. 

I might have Tommy’s past life story but I don’t have his memories.

Those moments between people are irreplaceable and I can create new ones but it’s so hard when everyone says the old ones are what made Tommy Tommy which would mean I’m not Tommy. 

I’m phantommy and- and I’m just one ghost 

I started shaking as I felt things go blurry and my breath hitch as my breaths became shallow and weak, tears welling in my eyes 

“ Tommy are you-“ I heard as if out of body 

“ Tommy!!” Said ghostbur 

Footsteps surrounded me from all angles, my ears ringing. 

“ Tommy!” I heard again “ breathe breathe” 

“ I think he’s having a panic attack” said Karl’s voice from what sounded like above me as I tried to take deep shaky breaths 

“ it’s all right we’re here” said ranboo “ breathe in and out ok close your eyes and imagine your feet grounded ok your returning to your vision your eyesights coming back to normal and breathe”

I kept breathing trying to do as he said eventually I opened my eyes to see them standing around me. Ghostbur then wrapped his arms around me, the sound of the pleasant classical music playing in the halls once again could be heard softly. Ghostbur was crying tears of blue.

“ Tommy are you ok?!” Said ghostbur peeling himself of of me 

“ yeah I I’m-“ I tried to say 

“ let’s take a break for a while and have some food and I can talk with Tommy we can do this later your ok tommy I’m so sorry you were right we need a break im so sorry tommy i should've listened this is all my fault-” he said crying

“ no no it's not your fault it's just… being a ghost its, it's really hard” i said crying “ and i just feel so alone”

“ were here were all here tommy” said karl resting a hand on my shoulder 

“ yeah i know it's probably been a lot for you so i understand you need a break i dont think me and karl are in any rush and even if we were you deserve a break as chaotic and crazy this godforsaken server may be”

“ lets let's head back to the courtyard” said ghostbur

We nodded following ghostbur leading the way 

We had a lovely meal all together on the grass which felt comforting and we talked about things that made us happy for a change which was nice. I headed to the room i had created under the large tree just a ways away and laid on the bed with tubboat in my head.

“ tommy?” asked ghostbur knocking on the wood

“ yeah i said hugging tugboat between my knees and chest

“ tommy i owe you a HUGE apology it's just i spent so long up here trying to figure out who i was and i didnt even give you the light of day, i just told you to go down there and explore thing and then immediately went back down just to force you back up because i thought you'd want to help me it was wrong” he said “ this is your afterlife you should be able to do whatever you want; i don't control you. I haven't been able to control my emotions or myself for months as i learned more and more about my past so i tried to control you.” 

I nodded watching as he sat on the foot of my bed

“You have dealt with SO much since you became a ghost between this traveler nonsense i also have tried to control but have no clue what's happening, and learning your memories, hearing you have to go on this big huge quest i've been… so insensitive to you and i feel like shit”

“ well here take some blue” i said handing him a piece watching as he took it smiling turning it blue immediately 

“ i guess that's more normal than i thought” he said sighing

“ everyone gets sad sometimes” i said “ i didn't mean to scare you when i had a panic attack and it definitely wasn't all your fault it's overwhelming i've heard tommys whole life story but it's not like i relive it in my head like, suddenly i know what happened, it just sounds like a story of some old tale of lore that somehow im responsible for completing but im just so overwhelmed and and tired” i said softly “ i want to hug tubbo and just feel safe in his arms because i trust him even though every place everyone i've met had made me feel like i just don't belong but like i have this this itch to gain there validation”

“I understand the part about it feeling like its a story, all those memories, i hid up here for months after hearing i blew up an entire nation” he said before looking straight at me

“ do what you want, go back down and visit tubbo, help us find the book, stay here and take a break. It's up to you and i'm here if you need anything” he said patting my knee and standing up 

I watched as he left my room and I began to feel more content and calm then I'd been all day. I didn't know whether I wanted to go back down and see tubbo now. If i went back down its mean planning and prepping and comforting tubbo. I didn't want him to feel he needed to comfort me or bother him so instead i decided it was time to take a break and just breathe…

_ Tommyinnit left the game _

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading ch.13 should be out soon story is also on wattpad


End file.
